||[May. 24th, 2010|02:57 am]
The Question Club
You're sitting in the jury room, waiting for your interview, when in walks the hottest person you have EVER seen. You're seriously about to throw yourself on them and dry hump, people around you be damned.|
What would turn you off faster than a bucket of cold water?
They pull out Ann Coulter's book "Godless" and begin reading with avid interest
They lean forward slightly, causing their shirt to gap, revealing a name tattooed on their chest, crossed out, and then re-tattooed. There are currently two crossed out & one untouched name.
They start talking. Their voice starts out normal, but the longer they engage in conversation, they begin to put emphasis on their s's. "Jussssssssssssssssssssst like ssssssssssssso".
They have what appears to be jock itch that has spread to their ass, so they're constantly scratching both their crotch and the expanse of their ass
They sit with their legs splayed, inviting the world to enjoy their loins, only they smell distinctly of ballsweat, no matter the type of genitalia they have
They finish every sentence they say, be it one word or twenty, with "BE QUIET YOU IDIOT!" in an exact replication of Ren, from Ren & Stimpy
They start speaking in tongues and begin having seizure like motions as they do so. You're the only one who realizes they're simply alternating between "Paul is dead" and "I buried Paul" backwards.
They sneeze violently into their hand then surreptitiously (or not so much so) wipe it on their neighbors, a la George W. Bush in Haiti with Clinton.
Their pant/skirt rides up and you see a bush of leg hair, that has been dyed multiple outlandish colors. At second glance, you notice "I'm a pretty girl" has been shaved in, regardless of gender, a la the nike swoop in the early nineties.
They reach in their purse/manbag and take out a finger skateboard and begin playing with it. You can hear them narrate "Hawk with a kickflip to hardflip to invert varial lien!" as they do, and they begin cheering as the combo is completed.
They pull out Dominatrixing for Dummies: how to embrace your inner Nazi ideologies.
This post brought to you by the hottie who whipped out Godless during jury duty this past week :'( what a waste
DK/DC: What was your favorite cartoon as a kid?