Last 2 exes broke his/her heart. Still isn't over either one of them and is very sensitive to talk about either one, even though it's been 3 years. Each one has complained about being suffocated, and something about 'overly clingy'
Two of his/her last 5 exes died from eating poison mushrooms within 6 months of dating
'Rush Limbaugh is like a prophet and everything he says is the truth! And Bill O'Reilly can say no wrong! And Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are going straight to hell. You agree, right?"
'Wanna go back to my place later and watch COPS? I love that show. I have every season on DVD. It's like the only thing I really watch. Everything else is boring'
'Just so you know, I'm really into butt sex. By the third date, if I'm not in there, this relationship just isn't working out'
'Oh, I don't really work. I'm a drug dealer. Yeah, totally true. It's just more fun and I get to stay high a lot. All I gotta do is drive around the junior high schools until someone approaches me wanting to buy. So easy'
'I have herpes, but I take every precaution so I probably won't spread it, should we become physically active'
'I have to tell you up front that I have a small penis. Yeah, it's the size of my pinkie. It's embarrassing, but I feel that it's less painful if I tell you up front then to have you laugh at me in the bedroom later'
'I'm a single parent of 4 beautiful children, ages 3-8. I have sole custody. My ex wanted no part of being a parent'
'I used to weigh 400 lbs, but I've worked hard to take it off this time. I have to admit, I seesaw a lot with my weight. When I fall off the wagon, I can put on 100 lbs in like a few months'
'Do you like football? I love football. It's like my only hobby. Yeah....so......um....what do you like best about football?'
'So...what's your opinion on the furries? Oh, I dabble here and there. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with it, but I do own 4 fur suits. I have one in the trunk of my car. Wanna try it on'
'It's not fair. Live a normal life your whole life, but found with child pornography on your computer once and you're a sexual offender for life'
'I'm obsessed with Twilight. I saw it 25 times in the theatre and I waited in line for an hour to get the DVD signed. I've never read the books. I hate reading'
'Wanna go see the Hannah Montana movie after this? It's good. I've seen it 3 times this weekend so far'