|For a cool million
||[Apr. 6th, 2009|02:59 pm]
The Question Club
...go on the Sexual Offender list as a child-abusing degenerate? Your name will appear on any searches for local perverts, which can be seen by friends, family and complete strangers, and every time someone new moves into your neighborhood, you have to meet them and tell them that you're a creepy molester who lives down the block who can't be trusted to even be 100 yards from their children. For the rest of your life, you'll be outed as a child molester but as long as you don't do anything bad, it's just a bad reputation that might get in the way of some friendships, job interviews and the like
...shave your head and then use electrolysis to keep the hair from growing back? You'll be a bald smoothie for life, but you can always wear wigs
...get pulled on roller skates behind a car on the freeway? Just 2 miles on a 70mph speed limit freeway, with you on skates and you have to hold the rope in your hands all that time or else, you'll drift back or fall down in front of all the quickly-moving cars behind you. If you fall down while holding the rope, you'll be dragged the remainder of the distance behind the car at 70mph, which could be very painful, but hey, it's only 2 miles. You've got a good grip, right?
...engage in a homeless threesome? They find 2 filthy bums in an alley somewhere and they're given Viagra and you have to be in the middle of that hobo sandwich? They've not showered or been de-liced, but they are wearing condoms
...dig up a coffin and steal a ring from the body inside? The body's been buried for 3 months and a relative really wants the ring he was buried with. You'll have to dig up the body by yourself in the wee hours, open up the coffin, handle the corpse's fingers and remove the ring, which will most likely involve a lot of hard tugging and pulling. Or, if you're a dastardly sort, just cut the finger off. There's no risk of being caught. Just your own guilt at graverobbing and your squeamishness involving touching the dead