"Are you sure the appendix is on the right? I remember it being on the left. Ok, let's flip a coin to decide where we cut"
"My...God...she looks just like Edith. I miss her so much, Stan. So much. Say, would you mind terribly if I asked you to step outside for 5 so I can spend some quality alone time with her? She won't know what happened when she wakes up"
"My...God...she looks just like Edith. THAT BITCH! Took me for everything I had! Look, Stan, I'm a professional. I'm not going to take it out on the patient just cause she looks like....ARRGH!"
"Fuck, Stan. We can't both be drunk. Who's gonna cut the patient open?"
"I'm gonna lose the house unless I can come up with 50k. Hey, what if we just take this patient's liver and sell it on the black market and split it 50/50. We can say the patient died through the procedure and we'll be in the clear. Wanna?"
"Make sure to remind me not to sew the scalpel up inside the patient this time. After the last 4 surgeries, I'm down to my last knife"
"Hehe. Is the acid kicking in? Mines is. The patient looks like really good apple pie and I have the knife. Isn't that trippy?"
"Georgia, I'm sorry I went back to the wife. That's no reason to take it out on the patient. Malpractice suit? Oh, really mature for an anesthisologist"
"The Parkinson's is back, Stan. My hand just can't stop shaking. I think I can still do the operation, but best get the extra-thick gauze ready just in case"
"Don't feel bad, Stan. It's just bad luck your last 8 patients died on the operating table. Bad luck. I have a really good feeling about this one though"
"This one's kind of cute. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Ok, get the camera"
"What do you mean there's no plasma? How can the hospital be out? Well, crap, now what? Hmm. I think maybe we can pull off this operation anyway if we're fast enough. There shouldn't be too much bleeding"
"Is this the one who loses the left leg or the appendix removal? This chart isn't telling me anything. Maybe we're supposed to remove the leg and the appendix"
"I got such a hangover. If I even smell blood, I'm probably gonna puke, Stan. Just FYI. Make sure I don't ralph in the incision"
"I get the appendix and the liver mixed up. The appendix is the big one, yes? I thought so. Wouldn't we look bad if we accidentally removed that tiny liver"