|i'm socially inept sometimes. answer if you feel nice.
||[Mar. 20th, 2009|12:47 am]
The Question Club
I'm a girl. and there's this guy. |
He's one of the regulars at the restaurant i work at, and is a regular at the bar next door. that's where I met him (i stopped for drinks with a coworker who knew him), and for a few months afterwards I'd stop in every once in awhile after a shift. He'd always put my drink on his tab, insisting on it when i started to dig around for my wallet. Free drinks is nice, and he was convincing with the "I pay for lots of my friends! it's totally fine!" line. He knew i was fresh out of college and not so wealthy with the restaurant job, and he's making enough to go out most nights of the week, not struggling to make ends meet.
After awhile I felt like he was developing a thing for me, and i wasn't into him that way. I met him at the bar one night after work and asked him to stop inviting me to lunch, not to give me anything anymore (he had tried to give me a gift card he "wasn't going to use"), and to stop offering to drive me home (i took the bus).
He's been really great about things ever since. He still comes in to the restaurant and always likes to talk to me (I work in an open kitchen), happy to monopolize my time.
lately he's been trying to get my coworkers/bosses and me in particular to come have drinks at the bar after work. Now that I live nearby and don't have the "must catch a bus" excuse, I've been telling him that I don't have money for it (I really don't), and that I feel bad letting him pay for me (I really do) even though I don't drink much.
He says that everyone puts their drinks on his tab, and he doesn't care (the owners charge him less and sometimes don't make him pay up). He wants me to come by tomorrow, since tomorrow's some sort of last hurrah (all the bartenders got fired).
I want to go (he's amusing enough that it'd be nice to get out of the house for while to listen to him chatter). But I still don't have money, and I don't want to start building up any obligation to him. I reeeeally don't want him to think I've changed my mind about dating him (because I haven't). But I feel like "stop giving me stuff" includes "i can't accept free drinks from you", so would changing my mind about drinks on him = changing my mind about going out with him?
if I go tomorrow and let him buy me a drink or two, would I be sending "maybe I DO like you like that" signals, or would that depend on the conversation?
Is it acceptable to let someone pay for your drinks when you've turned down their advances?
if I do go, should I bring a change of clothes? my restaurant stuff always smells like the deep fryer (not very pleasant) and it takes too long to go home and change.