|SO BORING, SO LONG, DON'T READ
||[Apr. 23rd, 2008|01:50 am]
The Question Club
Does anyone else feel like they are on an eternal and fruitless search for the perfectly written book that satisfies their every literary preference and desire?|
I want a really classy, funny and enormously thick novel divided into sub-books with many chapters that draws from mathematics, science, and mystery. It has to reference fine arts in a non-clichéd and unique manner (like, no Da Vinci Code shit). It has to occasionally shift between forms (from prose to poetry, lyrics, or otherwise), include a few pages in the middle that have images, and maybe have some pictures scattered in the middle. I'd like the style to be somewhere between Nick Hornby, Scarlett Thomas, Ian McEwan and Jay McInerney. I'd like it to really skimp on the melodrama and instead make me cry for real maybe two times in the course of the plot. I'd like it if solving puzzles within it led to finding actual buried treasure in the real world. There must be a fair amount of really well-written and pornographic sex, but not too much. It is okay if it portrays drug use, but I don't want it to be lame and masturbatory descriptions of people getting high. The Internet should probably be in it somewhere.
Will I ever find this book?
Why does my browser have the find function open, with only the word "penis" typed into it?