||[Jan. 26th, 2008|05:09 pm]
The Question Club
in the past, my mother has told me that "killing them with kindness" has always been the best way to deal with situations.|
at the time, it did, but now when i look back on things like this (i mean, from like, 12 years ago) i get so so angry that i didn't deal with it in a more fulfilling way.
1. i was basically tortured in elementary and middle school because i was poor and smart. instead of ever telling a teacher or fighting back, i just ignored it and then cried whenever i got home.
2. last year, my roommates were absolutely awful to me. they were the worst; they'd wait to go to a movie the second that i hopped in the shower so that they wouldn't have to ask me (you know, because i was "busy") or they'd go to the grocery store without me, even when i had expressed that i wanted to go too (and i was without a vehicle). i was very nice to them and one day, when i heard them badmouthing me very loudly across the apartment, i decided that i was done with it, and i moved out. i barely see them now, but i am angry that i didn't try to ruin their things or leave them nasty notes or ask for the money back that i had lent them or anything like that.
i hate that i get so bitter and angry about things in the past, but i cannot seem to let it go. i should say that i'm not a big fan of confrontations and it doesn't feel worth it sometimes to even try to fight back.
any suggestions? really, i feel like the only way that i'd ever be satisfied was if i could punch all of them and tell them about what crappy people they are, and then punch them again. obviously, that isn't and can't happen, so i feel stuck.
oh, i should say that i feel a bit of goodness because the people in elementary school are now being the big skanks in college, posting half naked pictures of themselves on facebook and are failing out of college. well, that makes me happy a tiny bit, but definitely not enough to feel satisfied.
what do i do? should i write them letters? go talk to a counselor?