OK, so here's the scenario:|
So, the questions:
1. Do guys have some rule about how long to wait after a date before contacting someone? If so, why?
2. Did the girl shoot herself in the foot by sending that last e-mail?
3. Should she just calm down and wait- she's over-reacting and everything is fine......?
I know, I sound like a spaz. But I'm not used to dating, and this whole situation is pissing me off. I'm attractive, successful and normal (despite how this makes me sound), so I don't know why he's doing this. I hate dating.
TO CLARIFY: The e-mail I sent today wasn't a "where is our relationship going?" thing- it was a "you called me every day, replied to my messages almost immediately, and were otherwise very attentive and interested, so why have you changed?" I DID say "I am curious to see where this could go" but nothing more ... long term or relationshippy than that. I just want to know what changed in his mind between dropping me off on Saturday night and getting my e-mail on Monday. I should probably also mention that he works with my cousin's ex-husband, and is friends with several people I know, so I have a small fear that someone talked some bullshit about me to him. I just don't understand how he could change his mind when nothing changed.
EDITED AGAIN: Since people are still not getting what I said in the e-mail, here it is:
OK, so I'm going to assume you were really busy yesterday, and that's why you enver got back to me. But like I told you, I have this history of people suddenly deciding that... well, I have no idea what they're thinking because they all of the sudden decide to blow me off completely. And while I try not to be a typical crazy chick, I get worried when someone who I talked to on a nearly daily basis suddenly decides to cut me off.
And one thing you'll find out about me is that because I don't like fighting, I tend to address my worries before they get to a serious freak out level. I also don't get hints, so if you want me to go away, you'll have to come out & tell me that. So I'll just ask you flat out: what's up with you not getting a hold of me at all in the last 2 days? In the past week, if you haven't messaged me on Facebook, you sent me e-mails or called me.
And then we went out, and everything was good. You asked me if I wanted to see you again, more than once. I said yes. So I was thinking that meant that you wanted to see me again. But I don't know if you're mad that I didn't put out, or if I'm just too much woman for you, or if I have too many pets...... I just have a bad feeling. So I'll just finish like this:
I hate feeling weak, and I hate feeling dependent. So I hate having to do this. But I like you- you're funny, and we have SO much in common, and I'm really curious to see where this could go. So if, for whatever reason, you've decided that you don't want to see me again, please let me know, so I can stop wondering what I did wrong when everything seemed to be going so well.
And if this is all in my head, just laugh at me, and don't hold my paranoia against me, k? Once i know where I stand, the insanity drops dramatically.
All of the self-depreciating humour is related to things we discussed previously. I'm NOT asking him to pick out a china pattern, just to tell me if he's decided he's not interested anymore.