|how can I tell my friend she has B.O. without hurting her feelings?
||[Mar. 22nd, 2007|10:22 pm]
The Question Club
If you had a nice, smart, pretty, accomplished friend who also had a new case of strong body odor, and you suspected it might be causing her unexplained rejections, what would you do? I am stumped. If she were a little more resilient emotionally, it would be easier, but she's having a lot of problems lately, she's extremely stressed, and I'm sure she would get very hurt or angry and upset about this. I don't want to upset her. I don't want to lose her as a friend. But I also don't want her to suffer unnecessary losses and rejections because of this.
It basically smells like "rotten," stale cigarette smoke plus very hormonal sweat. There is a litterbox smell, but she does not have a cat.
She smokes, and she drinks more these days than she used to. The thing is, she's very clean personally. I know she bathes daily. She may be sick somehow. She doesn't currently have health insurance, and going to see a doctor is a sore subject. I'm not in a position to pay for a doctor visit, myself. She's put on considerable weight in recent months, and this may be a factor. Basically I think she's eating junk food, drinking quite a lot, smoking, and stressing out, and maybe she has something hormonal going on. She used to smell fine, but now she doesn't. I was thinking it was her clothes, but her clothes are clean. It is something in her perspiration, I'm now sure.
She's been rejected recently for jobs she is qualified for, and we couldn't figure out why. This is making her depression get worse. She's been rejected by guys who seemed to like her looks and personality, and this has hurt and confused her. Now I'm sure that it's the odor causing this. Guys just disappear on her or make up bogus excuses. Employers won't say anything, of course. They just tell her they filled the position. I feel like I'm failing her by not telling her. I would want to know, myself. If I tell her, we can think of some solutions. But I'm afraid if I tell her, she will get extremely hurt and depressed, and then blow up and lash out at me. I need to help her. Others must be noticing it, but nobody will say anything. It's going to be up to me. And I don't know how I can bring this up without hurting her feelings.
So what would you do?