||[Dec. 24th, 2006|10:53 pm]
The Question Club
You saw mommy kissing Santa Claus....but so did Daddy! What will happen next?
Daddy asks Santa to step outside and settle this like men
Daddy wants until Mommy's finished, and then he has his turn on Santa's 'lap'
Daddy calls Daddy's lawyer and has him write up divorce papers for Mommy
Not much. Daddy's got his hands full kissing Rudolph
Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, "Do you hear what I hear? A song, a song, high above the trees with a voice as big as the sea". What does the shepherd boy tell the mighty king?
"Do you know what I know?"
"Hey, wanna buy some drugs? They're great! All day long I kept hearing sheep talk to me, complaining about the noise from my boombox"
"Screw this job. I got a talking sheep. I'm gonna be rich, beotch!"
"Um....you're not going to like this, but...I was watching your flock, when one of them started talking to me...and it freaked me out so bad I kind of beat the whole flock to death. My bad!"
"Did you ever just have really weird pillow talk with the last female you slept with?"
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the Yule-tide gay. From now on our troubles will be miles away. What's the best way to make these holiday lyrics come true?
Christmas tree, carollers, gift giving, watching 'It's a Wonderful Life'
Spending time at the Manhole on Brokeback night
Attending a K.D. Lang concert
Drink a bottle of bourbon. Those troubles will be light years away, buddy
Watching the King and I. Yul makes every Xmas merry
Why was Grandma run over by a reindeer?
She'd been drinking too much, and reindeer hate drunks
The reindeer had been drinking too much during one of their reindeer games
She knew too much. That's all you need to know, or else, you'd better watch your back too, wise guy
It wasn't a reindeer, it was Grandpa who did it, and he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for these meddling kids...
Santa loves children and gives them presents, but he utterly can't stand the elderly and kills them on sight
O, Frosty the snowman was alive as he could be, and the children say he could laugh and play just the same as you and me. Thumpetty thump thump, thumpety thump thump, Look at Frosty go. Whats going on with the thumpetty thump thump?
Frosty's feet running about, happily playing with the children
Frosty got carried away and accidentally pulled the still-beating heart out of little Bobby's chest
Frosty pulled out his snow shillelagh, and look at him go, thumping the screaming kids with his magically animated arms!
Well, if you've been frozen for a really long long time, wouldn't you hump the first thing you see? Sorry, little Tommy
The kids created a snow golem, who's meting out frozen death to all their enemies
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Why is this person's 2 front teeth missing?
His baby teeth fell out and he's waiting for his second teeth to grow in
His pimp beat him senseless when he was $5 short
He had just been bitten by Lestat and is waiting for his fangs to grow in
Bar fight with Tara Reid over who was next in line
He got jacked for his grill at a Hanson concert
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring. Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun. Now the jingle hop has begun. What's going on in this song?
A swinging, dancing Christmas party with an impromput snowball fight
Cocaine party with cowboys, whos spurs jingle-jangle
Poetic description of the winter battle in the War of the Roses, when Lancaster blew up a York watchtower during a snow raid
Gangfight on the subway as described by a blind passenger. Most of the combatants were swinging lengths of chain
Friday night at the McCready crack house