There is nothing redeeming about this post except the possibility of momentary distraction. I'm bored. That's my excuse for making it
1. You can spend the day at Disneyland with any president, current or ex, living or dead (they're back from the dead for one day). Who do you pick and what ride will they like the most?
2. You're on a small plane with a few people on board. You're flying over the ocean, when the pilot says that we're losing altitude, that there's too much weight aboard, and you're in charge of shedding 200lbs, or else, everybody dies. Your choices
-Michael Moore, eating a Twinkie and talking into a dictaphone about polling machines
-Nicole Ritchie, asleep on Paris Hilton
-Anne Coulter, with 2 boxes of her latest book on her lap, ready for a book signing
-a 200lb weight, inexplicably sitting there
What goes flying out the window?
3. You inherit a magic kazoo that can play the nefarious and mysterious 'brown note'
. Holy crap is right. You're not immune. Q: What's the most fun you can have with your new toy?
4. Which piggy is the biggest a-hole?
-the piggy that went to market (capitalist, sellout pig!)
-the piggy that stayed home (homeschooled shut-in)
-the piggy that had roast beef (carnivorous piggy who killed and ate his barnyard neighbor)
-the piggy that had none (get a job, slacking loser!)
-the piggy that went wee-wee-wee all the way home (public urinating is a misdemeanor, pork chop)