|Relationship Advice -- Need Both Male and Female Opinions
||[Apr. 12th, 2006|06:03 pm]
The Question Club
Concerning looking good for your partner:|
How much do you work to look good for your partner because they want you to look good?
In my relationship, my bf wants me to do myself up a lot more often than I would like to do. I am quite comfortable leaving the house wearing my glasses, minimal makeup, and with my hair out of place. I do pretty myself up on occasion, but usually not to go to the mall or for a quick bite to eat.
My bf's ideal gf is a high femme who loves nail polish and would NEVER leave the house without looking hot. He would love it if I would try, as often as possible, to look my best for him. He likes me to have my contacts in, my hair flattened and newly washed, sexy clothes on, makeup perfect, when we go out. He likes me to look great to go to the mall and anywhere else we may be seen in public together (beyond maybe the grocery store or Target).
How does one balance one's partner's desires for your physical appearance with ones own? When is a partner asking too much out of your preening, and when are you being disrespectful for not making yourself look good for your partner? Is it okay for a partner to want arm candy, despite their partner's thinking or desires (or non-thinking or non-desires), and when is it infringing on that person's free will? When is it just selfish to not make yourself look good for your partner and when is it selfish to require it of your partner to look good?
If one's identity is someone a bit more "natural" and "physically thoughtless" than the high femme that your partner would like and expected to be forever (I was a lot more dressy and femmy when we started dating years ago), where does one draw the line between being faithful to one's identity and honoring the desires of your partner?
Where is the balance? Opinions please?