I'm aware this totally varies from person-to-person, but I love this community and you people always give such sound advice. So. Er. Hi, I'm Julie, sixteen years old and my first real boyfriend just broke up with me.
We were together for a month and 24 days, to be totally exact, and, uhm, it didn't get too serious and we didn't have as much communication as I would have liked -- we didn't spend enough time alone or be really couple-like -- but things were nice for a while, and I did really really really like him. And he was my first actual relationship.
Sooo. Uhm. Basically, I just have a few questions:
A) Any advice on how to act from now on? I really want us to still be friends.
To be utterly honest, a part of me desperately wants us to become utterly close, uber!best friends. Because I love that feeling of, well, irreplaceability when you're so close to someone. (I have that kind of connection with 3 people -- none of them in my daily life, though, sadly.) I don't know if this is me hoping that we might possibly get together again if this happens, or if I'm trying to go for the 'second-best thing', or if I just honestly want to be friends and nothing else, or...
I'm really not sure what my head is up to. I just know I want to be good, good friends with him. Best friends if possible.
B) How can you tell if you're in shock or denial regarding matters like these?
Yesterday, I couldn't comprehend how I would manage if we broke up, because I couldn't imagine not being able to kiss him whenever I liked or, or, anything really. Even though it wasn't a perfect relationship by any means, I'll still miss it. But now that my worst case scenario has played itself out, I'm not exactly that upset. I haven't really cried or expressed too much sadness or anything. I feel cheated of a rightful amount of depression and angst, damnit. XD
Uh. So yeah. Someone I know suggested that I might be in shock, because half of me is all mixed up and jumbled and not sure what to feel, and the other half is being amused at the situation and imagining all the hilarious things I could do. Like stumble around in pyjamas with red eyes, eating cookie dough out of a gigantic plastic bucket and oh man, it would be so comedic.
BUT BACK TO MY QUESTION. My friend said it sounds a bit like shock to him, admittedly clueless in psychology that he is, but that I might not be exactly accepting what's happened. It's either that, or I'm incredibly well-adjusted. Or something. This has never happened to me before, so I DON'T KNOW WAH.
C) Is the "It's not working out, I think we're better off as friends" line as cliche as it seems, on hindsight? Is it ever actually true? If it isn't, am I naive for thinking it might be, this time around?
Though it must be the most overused excuse ever, I actually believe him. Is this dumb of me? 8D
D) Consider that he's never had to break up with someone before, since the girl always did it in his previous relationships. In this case, he mulled it over for 2-3 weeks and acted especially cold and distant in the last week to imply imminent!breakup, before finally having The Talk.
Would this have pissed you off?
I'm not angry about it -- I think it'd be better than if it suddenly came out of the blue, with no advance warning whatsoever. But I'm just interested in seeing what other people's reactions would be.
E) And since I've rambled about my problems for so long in this post, feel free to share your own woes and troubles and similar experiences. Since we all love doing that. <3333
Thankyouuu. *love and cookies*
PS: I'm probably making too big a deal out of something tiny and trivial, but I love totally overanalyzing things and working stuff out. Pander to my eccentricities! XD And again. I'm sorry for talking so much.