||[Dec. 27th, 2004|10:02 pm]
The Question Club
|||||"Bizarre Love Triangle" - New Order||]|
i have always been attracted to boys much younger than me. i cringe at the thought of being attracted to a "man". are there any girls here in their twenties who are attracted to younger boys? are there any younger boys ((when i say that, i mean teens)) who have an opinion on this? do you think it is weird//wrong//cool//etc.?
i posted this in my personal journal:
i want to live in my own apartment in the city. i want a pomeranian. i want to name her miss sasha or miss chloe. i want to decorate my walls with my favorite artwork. i want the biggest industrial//ebm//synthpop//electronica music collection. i want to be financially secure. i want to learn how to drive. i want a car; a silver jetta to be precise. i want to lose ten to fifteen pounds. i want to find a lifelong companion (!). i want to meet new people. i want to go to art museums, concerts, restaurants, meetings, and plays with respected friends. i want to have confidence in myself. i want to awaken each day, exhilarating in the now and newness of it. i want to travel. i want to go back to europe. i want to be an advanced traveler, and know exactly where to go and what to do at train stations, airports, bus terminals, etc. i want to learn how to cook delicious food. i want to continue my knowledge in spanish. i want to get a vnv nation tattoo. i want to have my makeup done by a professional, and i want to learn how to do my makeup like said professional. i want a new computer with a fast internet connection. i want to be happy everyday. i want to expand my vocabulary, and broaden my writing. i want to perform. i want to have foreign pen-pals, and i want to send them mix tapes. i want to have friends all over the world so that i may visit a lot of countries and have friends wherever i travel to. i want nice manicured nails. i want to not feel unbearably alone anymore. i want to walk down the street and receive greetings and compliments from random strangers. i want to take road trips and live out of my suitcase. i want to have lazy days sitting around watching 80's movies and smoking cigarettes and cloves. i want to have midnight conversations in diners. i want to have my lip pierced again without it getting infected. i want to meet ronan harris and mark jackson of vnv nation. i want to have my photograph taken in aesthetic poses. i want to create a book of my poetry. i want to be the poetry that i write.
& i just want to be.
i want someone who will drink chai tea lattes with me at 2:00am on a weekday & go to the cinema with me to see a really horrible movie, but to laugh at it for being quite horrible, and to see the excellent ones & someone who will drive me around and listen to sigur rós & rasputina & air & tons of other wonderful music & sit with me without saying anything & sit with me and talk about silly, random things & go shopping with me & go to the city with me on holiday and visit art centers, hipster stores, and vintage book shops & coffeehouses & someone who will dress up with me and go to a ridiculously expensive restaurant & dance with me & sing with me & make fun of the horrible articles in my cosmopolitan magazine & will help me stay on top of things -- academic, mostly & will watch mad tv with me & rent movies with me & take silly online quizzes & play madlibs (!!!) & cards & board games ((monopoly, life, clue!!!)) & someone that does not need to have sex with me in order to be with me & someone who actually takes an interest in my writing and is interested in it & someone who inspires me and helps me to be a better person & someone who teaches me things that i never knew & is willing to be taught & is a role model for me & is not afraid to tell me that my outfit is mismatched & is there for me 24/7 & does not obsess over me & does not control me & etc...
does anyone else here want to do and have those things?
[ also, does anyone here suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder that is quite serious and affects daily functioning? ]