||[Jul. 3rd, 2003|01:53 pm]
The Question Club
I have a toxic friend. The type of friend that you're always there for, but never returns the favor. This girl and I have been friends for almost 7 years...and she just started being "toxic" this past year. Things have been rough for her, her mom is in the army and got deployed, then came back as a major BITCH. I'm serious, this woman has PROBLEMS.|
she has a twin sister who is more like a child...my friend does everything for her sister. Her grandfather just died and her boyfriend of FOREVER joined the Air Force and broke up with her 2 weeks after giving her a "promise ring".
So her sadness is not for no reason. However, it seems that we can't even have a conversation anymore without it turning into how terrible life is and how much it sucks to be her.
I don't want to lose my friend, but I can't take the negativity anymore. I try to cheer her up, but it doen't work. I used to see her almost everyday the beginning of summer, but now i'm starting to avoid her and i think she may be noticing.
Also, we've been job hunting together and I got a great job while she hasn't gotten any calls or anything, so I feel bad about that.
It's just unhealthy for me to be around someone so negative. I go visit her and come home wanting to kill myself (saracasm).
I don't know what to do. Things havd been going so bad for her lately, I don't want to add to it be stopping our friendship. But it's bringing me down....
I've considered writing her a letter telling her this is unhealthy for me (and her), but what is that going to accomplish? It won't make her family nicer or bring her grandpa or boyfriend back. It'll just give her something else to be down about. And she is NOT the kind of person who can objectivley look at the facts and say "I HAVE been being rather unbearable lately". She'll take it as a personal attack and then it will blow into a big fight.
Grrrrr....any tips on how to handle this situation?