Faky (fakymcfakerson) wrote in thequestionclub,

I have to write a brief article for my homeowners' association newsletter thingie. There's really nothing happening, or else I would have at least someplace to start. So, TQC, what should I write about?

Edited to add:
There are seasonal reminders that are necessary, or else we'd give it a pass. The last one went out this time last year, if not earlier. The column's window-dressing to make people feel we aren't yelling at them.

The yelling:
-don't abandon your vehicle here, or we'll tow it.
-stain your deck, or we'll do it for you (not in a nice way).
-while you're at it, keep the damn thing clean. And that does not mean "spread your shit out in the area surrounding your deck," that means keep it clean.
-keep it down in there! damn youngsters.
-you want to attend our meetings? please don't, but here's how.
-here's the number of the management company. they like to hear from you; we don't. actually, they don't either, if you're just calling to bitch about your neighbor. if you are, grow a pair and talk to your neighbor. if that doesn't work, call the police- if it's a legitimate complaint. IF.
-quit telling us to weed the damn detention pond, it's fine the way it is- and you like the ducks, anyway.

The current window-dressing:
-here's what happened at our last annual meeting!
-our now-president won the $50 raffle at the last annual meeting. coincidence? hmmm...
-bios of the board.
-list of restaurants.
-game reviews for the Wii.
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