"Honey, what you do for money..."

1.) If you had your choice of being a stripper or a mortician, which would you pick?

EDIT: And what is the reason for your choice?

*For these purposes, both are the same hours and pay the same*

2.) If someone payed you 1 million dollars to walk around for a day with the "c" word painted on your face, would you do it?

(and to you comedians, I'm not talking about "crackers" mmkay?)