Wily as a coyote (fourcorners) wrote in thequestionclub,
Wily as a coyote
fourcorners
thequestionclub

12 Christmas Days Later

Why did my true love give me 7 swans, 6 geese, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtledoves and a partidge in a pear tree?

She works in a pet store
20(20.0%)
Sick, uncontrollable avian fetish
36(36.0%)
Because I ran out of skeet
11(11.0%)
Apparently she didn't know what to get for the guy who has 'everything'
23(23.0%)
She hates me
10(10.0%)

Why did my true love give me 8 milking maids?

I am calcium deficient
18(18.0%)
They're farmers' daughters and she's the best true love ever!
26(26.0%)
The maids will bring their cows with me and swamp my living room with cow patties. My true love obviously hates me
3(3.0%)
The other 12 are on layaway
5(5.0%)
Home Depot ran out of strippers stripping and she hoped I wouldn't notice the difference
48(48.0%)

Why did my true love give me 9 ladies dancing and 10 lords-a-leaping?

House party. Duh
23(23.0%)
I'm obviously meant to be the 10th lady in her twisted homoerotic fantasy
15(15.0%)
She didn't buy it. She just regifted it for me
13(13.0%)
It's one orgy, ready to serve. Just add tequila
31(31.0%)
My true love might not be all right in the head
18(18.0%)

Why did my true love give me 11 pipers piping and 12 drummers drumming?

Because high school marching bands piss me off and she hates me
9(9.2%)
That's the 10th row at a Dave Matthews concert. She scored me tickets!
12(12.2%)
To pay my neighbors back for that loud party last weekend
22(22.4%)
To harvest their organs and sell them on the black market
16(16.3%)
To drive away the dancing ladies and leaping lords, who are eating all my food and getting lube all over the couch
39(39.8%)

And why did my true love give me 5 golden rings?

I'm pimp like that
26(26.0%)
She's agreed to sign my mormon pre-nup and be my fifth wife
11(11.0%)
My share of the spoils after we buried the pipers and drummers in shallow graves in the back
20(20.0%)
Because she has the one true ring to rule them all!
36(36.0%)
More importantly, where's the other 6 I asked her to hold onto?
7(7.0%)
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