Q: If you could fellate or lick yourself (I don't know of the verb form of cunnlingus) would you do it?
A: I don't think I would, even if I could it'd be crazy awkward. I'd be too worried about hurting myself and having to explain it to paramedics
Q: If you did it would it be gay?
A: I don't think so, no more so than masturbating is.