Wily as a coyote (fourcorners) wrote in thequestionclub,
Wily as a coyote
fourcorners
thequestionclub

Poll #820861 Close Encounters

Alien encounter! A space alien climbs through your window. What does he look like?

Some guy in a space suit
10(12.5%)
Green, hairless man with a big forehead
4(5.0%)
Rubbery, wrinkly, big-eyed extra terrestrial with a large glowing index finger
6(7.5%)
A hairy puppet (ALF)
16(20.0%)
Large, hairy humanoid, possibly some missing link between man and ape
1(1.2%)
Robot
9(11.2%)
Grey, hairless man with a big forehead
9(11.2%)
Smaller humanoids
8(10.0%)
Someone in a hazmat suit
3(3.8%)
Person in a PVC jacket and a motorcycle helmet and kind of reminds you of your creepy next-door neighbor
4(5.0%)
Captain William T. Kirk
10(12.5%)

What do they have in their hands?

Ray gun
4(5.0%)
A device with the words ANAL INTERLOPER, copy of Anal Analysis for Dummies and a tub of alien lube
2(2.5%)
Book: How to Serve Man (and his little dog too)
2(2.5%)
Your cat
6(7.5%)
Handful of Reese's Pieces
8(10.0%)
Barry White, Flintstone's chewable viagra
2(2.5%)
Bag of teeth, and a bag of quarters
1(1.2%)
Tricorder
1(1.2%)
Vials of alien cures for cancer and AIDS, the secret of cold fusion
9(11.2%)
Half empty can of Pabst Blue Ribbon
2(2.5%)
Light saber
3(3.8%)

They say "Come with me". Where are you led?

Eliot's room
1(1.2%)
Landed saucer (it's not flying, currently)
21(25.9%)
Van on blocks on your neighbor's lawn, that has a decal of Calvin pissing on Hobbes
3(3.7%)
Into your kitchen, where there's ingredients on the counter and they say "I could use an omelet about now"
23(28.4%)
The Enterprise
5(6.2%)
To a medical table
2(2.5%)
A rave
18(22.2%)
The woods
7(8.6%)
An oven
1(1.2%)

When you awaken hours later, it will seem like no time has passed. What will you awaken with?

Back stitches, and a Post-It saying something about seeing a doctor immediately and something about kidneys
2(2.5%)
Instant gnosis about how to fix the planet, and other alien knowledge
9(11.1%)
A sore butt
4(4.9%)
Cybernetic implants
8(9.9%)
An STD
1(1.2%)
Your own pet E.T. who only eats candy and drinks beer
9(11.1%)
Indigestion
8(9.9%)
Your own space suit, for you are now a member of a star fleet
12(14.8%)
Nothing, but I want to know why half my head is shaved
11(13.6%)
A thank you note, and a coupon for $5 off a dinner for 2 at Dennys
17(21.0%)

How will this change your sleep habits?

You'll wear only nice underwear to bed
11(13.6%)
Hide a gun under the pillow
7(8.6%)
Lock the window at all times
9(11.1%)
Purchase book: How to Serve Aliens
3(3.7%)
Keep a camera near my bed at all times
17(21.0%)
Wear an anal guard before retiring to bed
4(4.9%)
Keep a bag of Reese's Pieces near my bed
12(14.8%)
It really wouldn't
18(22.2%)
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