exit417 (exit417) wrote in thequestionclub,
exit417
exit417
thequestionclub

1) What is the point you just have to say "no" to family and quit helping and/or lending money? 
2) Would it make a difference if it was your Mom versus your brother/sister? 
3a) What about if it's in-laws?
3b) If you need to say "no" how do you tell your SO it needs to be done?



My husband is about to trek up to TN on the first week of vacation he's had all year. He's barely gotten any time to be with our 5mth. old since she was born. He's moving his mother. Again. This woman, while I love her dearly, is an emotional vampire. Her life is always going wrong, and she's always needing help. She's lived with us four times in 8 years and always has emotional breakdowns and runs off leaving bills to take care of. She's had four vehicles given to her in the past said eight years, including one from us, and never tried to pay back a dime. She's moved back and forth between RI, GA, and TN countless times on a whim. 
And then there's his sister who owes us a four figure amount (I'm too ashamed to even type it) we took out on a credit card. I'm about to go have to hound her to make her payment. And try and find out what the hell she did with a box she was supposed to mail for me, but, after a month, still has not gotten there. She drug us into drama on the day my 5mth old was being born and it just hasn't stopped. At least his brother is finally becoming responsible. 
My point, finally. I feel we have done enough. Yes, we accepted help in the past. But we paid everyone back. Quickly. Without nagging needing to be done. And while I felt obligated for awhile, I'm saying enough is enough. We have three kids who need their daddy and, it's my freaking birthday/our anniversary (same day).
So how do I get it across and is it right (because let's face it, it is his mom, and she could become homeless if he doesn't help her move back here) to say no more? Apologies if this is too long or dramatic. Hell, I'm tired of the whole situation myself.
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