i've been practicing here and there for a few years, and i haven't fucked up yet really (no accidents, that is), i keep running stop signs and forgetting to check before i turn and it's just because i am off on neptune somewhere and when i try to focus on the road, it's just too much to take in at once and my brain shorts out until i'm crying or about to cry. i always say like it's trying to listen to eight songs at once and understand what they all mean.
i don't know if this can get better. i hadn't driven in a while until today, but before that i used to go out driving all the time and this never let up then and doesn't seem to be letting up now. the more my practicing proves to be futile the more i become terrified of driving. i can't trust myself with this shit. it's not just driving, i get the same feeling of distraction and brain overload when trying to read something, so don't think it can just be a driving problem.
so um, a few questions.
1) can this get better? practice doesn't help.
2) some guy from a driving school that i have never met is coming on monday to pick up me and my sister and take us out for a lesson against my will. people i know who have taken driving lessons through these things get taken out on major roads pretty much their first time. i think i'd have a panic attack. how can i get him not to do this? i just looked this place up on the internet and it says that they try to fit 2-4 lessons into every 45-minute appointment and prepare people for the road test in less than four weeks!! what can i tell this dude? :(
3) i'm moving to new york city after college (a few years away yet) and i don't even want my goddamn motherfucking driver's license but everyone i know is pretty much forcing me. my dad and my grandpa signed me up for these bullshit lessons that i don't even want to go to. i can't exactly tell them to fuck off because i'm living with my dad and not paying rent. how the hell can i convince everyone that i don't want to drive, i don't PLAN to drive, and i don't think i ever will be able to drive? i don't give a shit how independent it makes me. i'm a danger to everyone on the road and i hate the feeling i get when i'm trying to focus on driving and my brain shorts out and all i get is static and confusion. it's a terrifying kind of feeling like i'm suddenly in control of absolute nothing because i can't watch what's going around me and make any sort of sense of it. how can i get this through to my obnoxious family? i should note that they're not asking me to drive so i can run errands but forcing me to drive because it's "something every adult does" and i'm "not going anywhere in life" if i don't drive a car.