Ok, so over a month ago, I was dumped by my ex who I was with for two years. He is my first love. He is a very shady person, who has gone down the road of destruction for about 6 months. He is an alcoholic, is failing school, and started abusing me.
I am happy that I am finally free, I literally have this feeling of free, that I can be who I want to be. At the same time, he has just started calling me and showing interest in me again. I am sad that our relationship is over. I miss our relationship, not him, I don't love him in this present, and I do care about him, but only because I am worried about his behaviours. There has been no closing to our relationship, and I have been intimate with him after the break up (which left me with a deep sense of emptiness and that I had my body used).
When I was 12 years old, on my first day of high school I caught a glance of this guy and I had an instant crush on him. This lasted up until my ex and I got together. I have not talked to this guy for 2 years. A few weeks ago I bumped into him at a party. The rest is history. We have been on 2 dates, and we have this chemistry that is a billion times stronger then what I had with my ex. When he kisses me it is so intense, the feeling is so strong. I am head over heels crazy about this guy. He is such a beautiful kind person. I trust him. My friend said today when I was talking about him, that she saw my face light up, like she hasn't seen me in so long. I feel happy and at ease with him.
He asked me today if I still have feelings for my ex. I said no, he didn't believe me. He also asked what I meant to him, I said your more then my friend.
Either it is this guy, or my old love. I am confused.
How do I let this new guy know that I do have feelings, and I am not lying to him.
What should I do about my ex? He is crazy, and when he finds out about this new guy I am scared of what he will do. I don't know if I should end our relationship for good.
I am also worried about this being so soon, but letting him go would be a big mistake.