Katherine (cactus_rs) wrote in thequestionclub,
Katherine
cactus_rs
thequestionclub

Rejection Etiquette

I recently observed someone (A) have a minor meltdown over being unfriended on a social network (created for platonic real-life meetups rather than dating/hookups or sharing photos), to the point where they actually phoned up the person (B) to ask them about it. They had met in real life once, about a week ago, and A thought it went really well.

From my perspective, it looks like B did not have as good a time as A and decided she wanted to invest her friend-finding energy elsewhere. The unfriending was a "soft no". I tried to explain this to A and suggest she put it behind her and move on. A replied that she thought B was being cowardly and should have just told her that she (B) didn't really want to hang out again outright.

Assuming that A really liked B, but the feeling was definitely not mutual, how should B have handled rejecting A? Do you think A was in the right to call B and ask about the situation?

(Note that this was an entirely platonic meet-up. Neither party was expecting romance or sex.)

There's also the chance that A misunderstood the mechanics of the site entirely and had not been unfriended. If you had met someone online, hung out once and had a good time, but then a week later got a phone call asking about why you unfriended them/why you didn't like them/whatever, when you had actually done nothing of the sort, would that scare you off the person entirely, or would the potential friendship be salvageable?
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  • Tappa tappa tappa

    What key or keys are the most used on your keyboard--that is, to the point where the letter or text has come off? According to my home keyboard and…

  • Cooking

    What was your funniest, or at least benign, kitchen mistake? This post brought to you by the time I was making Campbell's Wonton soup and I…

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