mccfan (mccfan) wrote in thequestionclub,
mccfan
mccfan
thequestionclub

Do I acknowledge?

I recently received a letter from an ex of nearly 20 years ago.  We haven't actually spoken over the phone etc in over twelve years and have had no email/online contact in at least seven years. Our last contact from years ago was me changing my email address and not giving the new one to her. Our conversations by that point were short and to the point but not negative. I changed my email when I realised she had added it on to mailing lists she used for work purposes. Basically I was getting spammed with over 200 emails a day about stuff I wanted nothing to do with. I asked her several times to remove my email address without success, so I just changed it and moved on. I felt no need to try to save any type of friendship at that point.

In 2012 I found out her father had died, so I sent a brief polite condolence message via facebook (we are not actually facebook friends.) I didn't receive a response, but I hadn't expected to hear anything either.

Fast forward to this month. I received a handwritten letter in the mail from her. It's a selective, brief, modified version of what's been going on in her life, but said she wanted to tell me that her father had died, she had gotten married and that her mother had also recently died. By way of this I realised she did not get my message or had any idea that I knew about his passing...

I got along fine with both her parents when we were together but didn't speak with them again after we split up.

We have almost nothing in common now and I don't want to do anything to drag up the past again. However, I do feel a sense of guilt in pretending I haven't received the letter at all.  She has suggested wanting to be facebook friends and I haven't even wanted to think about that being an option right now....

Part of me wants to knowledge the letter, let her know my thoughts but then cut all ties again. I'm in two minds as to how to handle this...

My question is: Do I acknowledge receiving the letter?

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