Katherine (cactus_rs) wrote in thequestionclub,

Kvetching and Toilet Time

How you distinguish between necessary and/or justified complaints and worries and just plain whining? Coming from other people, I mean. I usually have a good idea about when I'm doing one or the other myself.

But there are some friends I have that, even when they have objectively crappy things going on in their lives (breakups, job stresses, etc.) they have a manner of talking about it that just grinds my gears. Others don't hit that threshold at all and I have no issue with them. I assume I'm not alone in this.

I'm trying to pinpoint what exactly is the difference between the two. I think part of it is based on how much they complain relative to how much they engage in other types of conversations. And another part of it is how much perspective they're maintaining: understanding where they may have been at fault or other confounding factors that are nobody's fault, or how important the issue is in the long run, or acknowledging how they could possibly fix the situation.

Am I making sense? Has anyone else thought about this? Am I just an asshole?

DK/DC: Do you have a regular bathroom schedule? Is there any time you absolutely HAVE to go to the bathroom? I generally but not always have a poo in the morning, but I find that WHENEVER I walk in the door from being out, even if I went to the bathroom when I woke up and had nothing to drink while I was out, I need to pee like ANYTHING.
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