Vanity Asphyxia (vanityasavirtue) wrote in thequestionclub,
Vanity Asphyxia

Kicking out roommates

I need some reassurance that I'm not a horrible person so here's some questions related to kicking out roommates...

Have you ever had to evict a roommate? What for?

Have you ever had to evict a roommate that was also a family member? How did that effect familial relationships? How long until everything "blew over"?

So my boyfriend's sister moved in with us a while back after being evicted from her last apartment. She "fell on hard times" and got behind in her rent.

We agreed to herself and her kitten moving in.

She moved in her deadbeat boyfriend after lying to us that he wasn't going to be actually living there. He's been sleeping, cooking, showering here since September. I call that living there.

They spend a ton of money on weed. I'm not anti-weed so I was ok with people smoking it. I asked them not to smoke blunts (With tobacco leaf wraps) inside because they reek and we're not supposed to smoke tobacco inside here, and that smell lingers unlike pot smell which you can get rid of fairly easily.

Their cat they refuse to get neutered and now he's spraying. He's pissed all over the place and the whole place reeks of cat piss. My usually social and friendly cats are now hiding in my bedroom all day because he terrorizes them.

I've had to ask this 22 year old to not use my stuff without permission and to not just take my stuff without permission.

Then to add to all this they didn't have rent for me by the 1st of the month. She promised me that she'd have rent by the 4th including th $50 late fee for my not being able to pay it on time. We have a grace period until the 3rd of every month with my landlord that i've NEVER missed. I have been renting from the same one for over 2 years now and have a good reputation with him. Come the 4th she doesn't have it. She has about half of what is owed. On top of this she owes me $30 from the previous utility bill cycle. Then her boyfriend covers just the rent part, not the late fee, and says he's not responsible for any of it because he "doesn't live there".

On top of this these two are careless with power consumption. They leave the house and leave TV's and lights on all the time, I once came home to find the oven on full blast and it had been for about 4 hours because they were too high and forgot.

Meanwhile I watch them blow HUNDREDS of dollars per month on weed. Like, they buy a $20 bag just about every other day, sometimes more. Not to mention the other completely useless shit they blow money on. I'm not one to judge how others spend their money, that's their business. But you gotta pay your bills first and when it affects me and my livelihood then I get pissed.

So, I'm kicking them out. Of course she and her entire family think that my boyfriend and I are monsters and horrible people for doing this.

The boyfriend has hit her before, thus why I didn't want him there. He has anger issues. And he threatened me the other day for walking down my hallway.

It's a nightmare. I've had to kick out an unruly roommate before but not someone that was family so it's especially hard. And it's especially horrible timing given that it's Christmas time and I'd hold off but I don't make much myself, and they refuse to change their lifestyle to accomodate paying the bills and I really can't afford to cover their portion and excessive utility usage, or take on any more damage from the cat peeing on everything... I feel horrible. It's horrible. I wish I had never agreed to let them live there -- plenty of other friends wanted to room with me and I turned them away for her. And it's ruining my boyfriend's relationship with his family which I really really feel awful about.

EDIT: Update on the events...

So last night the douche was still there. So I got my ducks in a row and called the police. Basically they tell me that they can't do much even though the guy threatened me. I didn't mention before that when going into their room to turn off their lights and TV AGAIN that I found this razor I have for fringing hair by the side of their bed like they were hiding it there. I brought that up to the police. I still plan to press charges because from what I see I can't really do all that much unless I do. So I will. Gathering up all my evidence -- got a written confession for the death threats via notes left on the fridge. Amazingly stupid of them, but good for me.

So the police said they could talk to him and ask him to leave for me. They even patted him down for weapons which I even thought was excessive. (Though according to the sister it was ME who had them pat him down... ugh) He put on a real show for everyone acting so surprised and hurt by all of this -- nevermind the 50 warnings he got that he needed to GTFO or I was pressing charges. Apparently he didn't believe me.

So bully for me, they went to stay with his dad or something last night and took the cat with them because I'm "creating a hostile environment there" nevermind that I didn't kick the sister out right away, just her piece of shit boyfriend but she still sees it as me kicking both of them out right away. I am at a loss with how to talk to them so I've given up. I mean, her boyfriend threatens me but she just sees it as I antagonized him into threatening me.

Anyway, I feel really horrible for my boyfriend going through all this. Because of us taking this action they involved his grandmother whose husband just died last week, and who has literally NOTHING to do with this. And she agrees with us that the boyfriend is scum. But now she's mad at my boyfriend and basically said she didn't want to hear from him ever again. His mom and his sister both told us they hope we die and various other insults. Even if you know your family is being crazy and unreasonable it doesn't make it not hurt when they say things like that to you. He's very upset about it all.

Update 2...

Got home from running errands last night and they'd of course been in the apartment, left every mother-loving last thing in the place on. My lights, TV, radios... They didn't turn the Stove on so there's that, I guess. They also vandalized, shredded the window curtain I had in the bathroom, wrote "CUNTS" on the fridge and stole my effin' coffee maker. So cops got called again. I attempted unsuccessfully yesterday to obtain an order of protection but finally we got a helpful police officer this time that told us since she's a direct relation to my boyfriend, he doesn't need a police report or any kind of proceedings to obtain one, because that makes it a domestic issue. SO FINALLY he's going to go take care of that today, took the day off of work. I went out and bought new locks last night and changed them all. I couldn't before because I was waiting for a paycheck. So now new locks on the doors and I'll throw their shit to the curb later when I have time. But seeing as they won't be able to come within like 300 ft of us after the order takes effect, dunno how they're going to pull that off. Don't care, either. Here's some pics to entertain you though...

Found these empty weed bags in their room yesterday. That's like $80 they spent on weed in one weekend.

The lovely new fridge decor. (Don't worry I got it off)

My curtain. :( Still needs to be replaced. Ugh.

Looks like they were ashing their blunts against my wall too. Or something. It's definitely resin.

So if I wasn't sure before I'm definitely sure now that I do not want these people living with me.
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