creativepseudonym (creativepseudo) wrote in thequestionclub,

Have you ever dated someone who had a rough upbringing (whether abuse, generally bad family relationships, or anything else)? How, if at all, did it affect your relationship?
If you had a rough upbringing, has it affected your relationships? In what ways?

I've been with my boyfriend for three years. When he was growing up, his father was violently abusive to his mother, his mother frequently had to leave the house for months at a time; his older brother ran away multiple times and has battled drug addiction.  My boyfriend has frequently told me many upsetting stories about his family hardships - they immigrated from eastern Europe when he was a small boy and life was very difficult.

He is a really terrific guy and one of the kindest people I know - basically put himself through university and still helps to support his family. Since the start of our relationship, he has been extremely open about his experiences. I have noticed that he has certain difficulties with emotional intimacy and other problems that I really suspect may stem from his difficult home life. With the exception of his grandparents, his familial relationships are all very cold, and many of the people in his life that were supposed to be there for him weren't.

I love him, and we have really tried together to work on these things.  I'm curious if anyone has gone through anything similar and hearing other experiences may help - thanks!
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