How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
5 gallons of wood
All the king's horses, and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Why do you suppose that was?
The king's men were interns at best. Not a lot of working medical background experience
The horses' clear lack of opposable thumbs
Humpty Dumpty's injuries were not covered by his health insurance
They ran out of duct tape and egg glue
You let giant mammals with hooves close to the injured person. What do you expect was going to happen? A miracle?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What would you have to do to get the most of the apple's doctor-wardiing ability?
Eat it. It's got the vitamins and roughage you need
Throw it at the doctor as hard as you can. He'll stay away
Shove it up his bum. Once sated, he'll stop following you
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him ______?
Walk on the water like Jesus
Love you. No one loves you
Forget about Humpty Dumpty. It still haunts him that he couldn't save that guy
Your wife. Homo-bestial relations are frowned upon in your area
She sells seashells by the seashore. How sound of a business plan is this?
Lousy. One could find their own seashells for free rather than pay her outrageous marked up prices
Brilliant. That's mainly why I go to the seashore, but find it time consuming hunting for seashells
I believe that this is a euphamism for prostitution, which is illegal. Stop selling your 'seashell' to the sailors and get a real job