Wily as a coyote (fourcorners) wrote in thequestionclub,
Wily as a coyote
fourcorners
thequestionclub

About last night....

Did you know I had a sex dream about you last night. It took place in ________

A petting zoo
0(0.0%)
Zero gravity (we were in a space shuttle)
22(48.9%)
The DMV
6(13.3%)
A ball pit
11(24.4%)
Disneyland's 'It's a Small World'
6(13.3%)

I was wearing _________

A horse mask
3(6.7%)
Spurs
6(13.3%)
A Victorian noble outfit
19(42.2%)
An edible Batman costume
10(22.2%)
Crotchless lederhosen
7(15.6%)

You were wearing ______

A Leela outfit (from Futurama), complete with single eyeball
11(24.4%)
Whipped cream sprayed in all the naughty locations
7(15.6%)
Restraints (there's no other way you'd be intimate with me otherwise)
8(17.8%)
A chainmail bikini
13(28.9%)
A crotchless vintage deep sea diving suit
6(13.3%)

You said 'I've never thought of ______ used in the bedroom before', seeing what I had in my hand

An eggbeater
12(27.3%)
Vick's Vapo Rub
9(20.5%)
A Twister mat
8(18.2%)
A whoopie cushion
6(13.6%)
Toy army men
9(20.5%)

And just as it was getting hot and heavy, you whispered ________________ in my ear...all sexy like, and I woke up

'I don't mean to pry, but do you have six fingers?'
10(22.2%)
'I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum'
16(35.6%)
'Could I BE any more turned on right now?' (in Chandler's voice)
7(15.6%)
'Luke, I am your father'
3(6.7%)
'BOO! You whore'
9(20.0%)

And I would have thought it was all just a dream, except I found your _______ in my bed

Puddle-sized wet spot (Dear Lord, I hope that's a wet spot)
9(20.0%)
Mermaid body suit
20(44.4%)
Clown makeup
3(6.7%)
Stiletto galoshes
10(22.2%)
Crabs-B-Gone meds
3(6.7%)

And when you get around to it, can you return my ________? That'd be great

Wallet
4(8.9%)
Kidney
10(22.2%)
Cat
17(37.8%)
Dignity
13(28.9%)
Semen, #4924839372 through 4924839885. Last seen in the vicinity of your throat
1(2.2%)

And sorry what I did to your ________. That's never happened before

Hair
8(17.8%)
Car
5(11.1%)
Sense of self worth
14(31.1%)
Underthings
13(28.9%)
Urinary tract
5(11.1%)

I'm telling you all this by text, to the number you left me. This is ________, isn't it?

Chelsea
5(11.1%)
Miss Utah
11(24.4%)
Bubbles, the Naughty Clown
5(11.1%)
Agent BoPeep
9(20.0%)
Sister Henrietta
15(33.3%)
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