Jennifer (xxflyingsoulxx) wrote in thequestionclub,
Jennifer
xxflyingsoulxx
thequestionclub

Dealing with death as an agnostic

Hey all,

I'm an agnostic but I was raised Episcopalian and I prayed like many Christians did in times of trouble and in times of gratitude. Sometimes I still catch myself doing it just because it feels nice to talk to someone, even though I don't believe anyone is listening.

My uncle just died and my whole family is Christian, and I am going to the service in a week. I am sad about it but mostly I am sad because he was like a brother to my dad, who is still grieving from my mom passing 2 years ago. My life isn't affected too much except for the sadness over a family member passing, but I don't really "need" to grieve in my own way.

Many religious folk would pray during this time because they believe their prayers go out the family and the ones hurting and perhaps God can help them. Since I don't believe in that, what should I do on my own? I will of course say my condolences at the service, but it actually makes me uncomfortable when people talk about that he is with the Lord now. I was so angry when my mom died that all that talk about her being in Heaven seriously infuriarated me.

For all you atheists, agnostics and humanists out there who have lost a family member, what do you do to compensate for that feeling of comfort that many religious people have that he or she is at peace now? Have any of you had any confrontations with religious family members about this?

I don't mean to offend anyone with any religious beliefs; this are just my opinion and my beliefs. It was incredibly hard to deal with my mom, but I was the one being apologized to so I didn't have to reach out to anyone. I want to comfort my dad and I want to be there for my family, but I want to comfort the idea that he is gone in a nonsecular way.

Does this post make sense? It does in my head, but I'm not sure how to convey it.

Any advice for this situation?
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