Leah (hellototheworld) wrote in thequestionclub,
Leah
hellototheworld
thequestionclub

Lack of privacy/autonomy in a roommate situation

It's somewhat complicated but I will try to make it as simple as I can because no one wants to spend an hour on this.

My best friend co-owns a condo with his father. Both are on the paperwork. His father lives in the house Friend grew up in with Friend's mother and sister, so he doesn't live in the condo with Friend. Friend actually still spends 3-4 nights a week at his parents' but that's another story (we're 30, for context). A few months ago I lost my job and Friend and parents thought it'd be a great idea to have me move into the condo. I could pay just a few hundred a month, easing the pressure on me while I job hunt and it'd save Friend and parents some money, win/win! They still help him with finances since he is going to school, which is cool.
Except it almost immediately turned into a situation where they claimed they could no longer afford the place and needed to sell it/get someone in there "who would actually pay" (their words). Meanwhile, they started refusing my payments. I reluctantly had to involve my own mom because Friend's mom kept calling her to "explain" everything (I guess assuming that I run and tell my mother everything that happens to me? I don't know.). My mom offered to pay half the mortgage/fees for 2 months so I could have time to find a place and they refused but said I could still stay for 2 months to find a new place. Ever since I moved in, Friend's dad sees no problem with showing up unannounced and going into our rooms, throwing stuff out (not all of it garbage) and making nasty comments about the state of our home (mostly directed at me*). If I at all try to challenge him, or even ask him to call ahead and ARRANGE a suitable time to come over (not just call ahead and announce he's coming at such&such time) both Friend and Friend's dad respond by saying that I don't pay rent and therefore I'm a guest and have no right to say anything to anyone about anything. Ever. It's stressful enough trying to find a new job/apartment without this BS. Thoughts? Am I wrong? Is there anything I can do? I apologize if this post is slightly incoherent.

tl;dr: If you are renting a home from someone, does that give them the right to come and go as they please?


*Once he apparently dug through our garbage, because he complained that I was "disgusting" because I'd left a used tampon in the garbage.
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