(Trigger Warning: Weight Management)
Weight has been a struggle with me the last few years. In high school I weighed about 150 (personal healthy weight), in college dropped down to 145. By the time I was 25 I weighed 230 lbs. I lost weight briefly at age 29, dropping down to 175, but at 30 I weigh 222. It's hard. I'm all about body acceptance, or at least I'm learning, but I can't help but panic and feel ashamed sometimes, worrying about various medical issues. I'm not doing the best I can to take care of myself, but I am trying and I am getting better at it. Some days I eat all my vegetables, but don't feel like exercising. Or I exercise a little, but then stress eat. Or I do my relaxation tapes and meditation, but don't drink all my water, or eat something off plan and say, "Screw it."
My aunt has had this same struggle and as she's getting older she's injuring herself a lot by falling. She posted this in response to me talking about moderation:
"Jen , I love you, please don't take this wrong....as your fatso Aunt Sue I must tell you please get your weight under control now because as I am experiecing right now those extra pounds destroy your joints in the future. Bsides my knees ,now my hip has a stress fracture that is VERY painful....and losing weight is easier while your young. Keep active while you can....I regret not exercising and walking more when I could walk."
I'm trying hard to take this as encouragement, but all I feel is panic, like I'm being irresponsible somehow by not keeping my weight under "control" and that I'm not going to succeed at this.
My question is for those of you who have struggled with this is what do you do when you keep messing up? Did not giving up work for you? How do you keep from feeling like a failure when you're not seeing results because of messing up?