hearts and tarts (heartsandtarts) wrote in thequestionclub,
hearts and tarts

diagnose me tqc.

I've been diagnosed with both depression and adult ADD in the past and have been medicated for both (not at the same time) over the past 8 or so years, but I currently take no medication and haven't been to the doctor in a long time. I'm having sort of a "depressed" period but I can't tell if it's caused by depression or ADD.

I'm very happy with the current state of my life but it's difficult for me to get excited about anything. I have negative, anxious thoughts (worrying about death for no reason) but I am very good at pushing them out of my head instead of dwelling on them. I've been prone to both crying fits and bouts of anger a lot lately at the most random triggers.
I'm unemployed and find myself laying around my house doing absolutely nothing for hours. I feel mentally hyper and emotionally exhausted most of the time. I post on TQC every day to burn brain energy without actually having to do anything. I never talk to or see any of my friends, even though I wish I did. I just feel like getting dressed and leaving the house would be too hard most days so I don't. I still enjoy doing my favorite stuff, but I can barely be bothered.

The reason I'm confused is that I'm mostly happy most of the time I just feel, like.. - down -. I want to be productive and energetic but I can't scrape my shit together for 2 seconds to do anything, including get a job or go to school. Am I just a miserable lazy ass?
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