just laur (echafaud) wrote in thequestionclub,
just laur
echafaud
thequestionclub

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secret secret, i've got a secret

let's say you and you roommate are friends with a guy and the three of you go out to dinner at least once a week and go out with each other on the weekends. you have long-suspected that your friend is gay. your friend knows that you and your roommate are incredibly gay-friendly and have talked about your other gay friends before, etc.

some information surfaces that essentially confirms that your friend is attracted to men, but he still hasn't come out and told you that he's gay. would you be offended? would it make a difference to know that he's purposely been evasive when talking about relationships in the past? is there any reason he'd be more OK with letting acquaintances know, but not friends?

i ask because i guess my feelings are a little bit hurt that he's actively avoided telling us. it's not so much that he hasn't told, because i have lots of gay friends who didn't "proclaim it." it was basically like "ok, i can infer from talking to you that you're gay and you can infer that i'm straight." i guess i'm a little hurt that he's avoided telling us actively. it's not like the topic of romantic interests hasn't come up. and the people that know he's gay aren't even really his friends. i mean, obviously i'm not entitled to know anyone's sexual orientation, but i guess i'm perplexed that he's tried to make sure that my roommate and i didn't know.
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