Brandoch Daha (ticktockman) wrote in thequestionclub,
Brandoch Daha

Help me spend my money, TQC. I can either repair my bathroom, or file for divorce. I can't afford to do both right now.

We have two bathrooms in our trailer, but the one in good shape is inside my bedroom, so if the other one goes out of service entirely I'm going to have a lot of traffic going in and out, and also there is no door on that bathroom, so I pretty much have to leave my bedroom whenever my son or adult step-son want to use my bathroom.

The bad bathroom has a cracked bathtub. Water has leaked into the subfloor, and it has rotted out. The toilet has sunk at a slight angle, and is being supported by cinder blocks from underneath the trailer. It works, but it is a bit scary to sit on. The drain piping for the sink got pulled apart by the floor going south underneath it, so that sink is out of service. We need to pull out the toilet and bathtub and sink and pull up the flooring, then replace the flooring, then reinstall the toilet and buy a new bathtub (probably a shower stall instead) and sink housing, and install them. We really need to do all of this during the warm weather.

My marriage is really and truly over, but the legal connection between us remains. I don't expect to get remarried soon, and maybe never, so there isn't any real big hurry in that sense about when to do the divorce. It's just that I'd need to spend money on filing fees and a lawyer. The State of Michigan wants to do the heavy lifting for me. Our son is living with me full time, and I'm receiving food stamps to help with food expenses, and Medicaid to help with our medical expenses.

The State of Michigan's point of view is that my ex should contribute to the cost of our kid's living expenses, and the State coerced me into signing an authorization for them to sue her for child support on my behalf. When they get her to sign the agreement they want, I'll have all the Custody, Support, and Visitation agreements wrapped up nice and neat and legal, and I'll be able to take the agreement to court and get a divorce without need of further legal representation. I just have to be patient.

BUT ... she's out of state and declining to sign the receipt for delivery of legal papers from the State of Michigan. (She tells me she doesn't know how to get to the Post Office from where she is living now.) So I might have to pay a lawyer to deal with her and get her formally served, and such. And if I do all of that, I'll be stuck with only one working bathroom for a very long time.

What's even worse ... I'm being honest about my situation in my okcupid profile. I've gotten lots of responses on the order of "Write again when you're not married anymore." My ex is getting laid by all sorts of people who don't care about her legal status, but I'm getting cockblocked.

So how should I spend my money?

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