Wily as a coyote (fourcorners) wrote in thequestionclub,
Wily as a coyote

This is a hypothetical question. Just accept the perimeters of the question as being realistic, even if in real life, you have no cat, don't live in an apartment, etc. Ok. There's an emergency and you have to leave town for 3 days IMMEDIATELY. It's on really short notice, and none of your friends or family can watch your cat. You're getting frantic, and as you're bringing out the garbage, thinking of what to do, you bump into your neighbor, who asks you what's bothering you. You tell him, and he agrees to take care of your cat in your absence for $20. This guy's in his 30s, blue-collar type, unemployed, real-conservative type, and not doing so great financially, but from what you know about him he's a decent guy and trustworthy, so you agree. You show him your place, show him the cat food and the litterbox, and anything else. You give him the $20 and the key to your place. You return in 3 days, and go into your apartment. It's a mess. Beer bottles all over the tables. You check your fridge, and most of your food is gone. Angry, you check the cat. The cat food is still there, unopened, and the litterbox is overflowing, and the cat is howling from hunger. You take care of the cat, and look to see what else is wrong. Your bed's been slept in, and there's a wet stain on the sheets that smells like beer. All your toilet paper is gone, and there's vomit in the sink. You're pissed. You go to the computer, and notice a lot of porn has been downloaded. You're furious now. You know this guy's got no money, so he can't pay you back for anything. You're about to go to Facebook to write a pissy update about all this, when you notice that your neighbor is still logged into Facebook on your computer.

Poll #1794229 Hypothetical

Hmmm. What happens now?

I log him out to make my update
I change his password so he won't be able to access this account again
I change the email on the account, so he won't receive any notifications
I change his icon to something he wouldn't like, like a picture from Equus
Add to his 'likes' such topics like bestiality, sodomy, buggering animals, abolition of heterosexual marriage, or something else topical
Make a status update of how he's been unemployed and has more time on his hands and has been watching all kinds of porn, and has discovered new things that turn him on. Things he hadn't realized until now
Pick on his FB friends. Maybe target the ones with pets. Ask if he can petsit for them, how he'll do it for free and how their pet looks 'frisky'. Throw in a 'giggety-giggety'
Make an update about how he's got a sweet gig, how he doesn't have to pay rent, but rather, gives oral pleasures to the landlord twice a month, and how he'd do it for free anyway
Add as many creepy pictures as you can into his folders, like many images of horses
Probably wouldn't do anything that bad. Just write in his FB what an asshole he is for messing up your apartment and ignoring his duties

This all takes place before you have a chance to confront him or exact revenge
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