Bridget (tea_fiend) wrote in thequestionclub,
Bridget
tea_fiend
thequestionclub

EDIT: And just ignore what follows later.

If someone likes XYZ, and you find XYZ unattractive, but you possess XYZ; how do you square that with yourself?

(EDIT: should probably ignore all until the question at the next EDIT)

I know there's all sorts of wossnames where people like all sorts of people, and what have you, but I'm having this thing, where someone seems be liking me, and it's giving me pause for thought.

I am not a thin person, not by any means; Someone is liking me very much, with me as a not-thin person; This means they are liking a not-thin person who is me; They are liking a fat person, who is me.

Someone is liking me, and liking the fat person that is me. This is hurting my brain, because I am fat person, and they are liking. How do they like fat person that is me, etc etc?

Backstory finishes and question happens here:

I personally don't find fat attractive. Very much the opposite. I'd go so far as to denigrate fat and call it hideous when it's attached to me. On other people it's just a thing, that they are, and so it goes, but I don't find it attractive. But on me I find it a bit vile. This gives me an issue when someone calls me attractive; they're viewing something as attractive that I view as grim.

So the question tonight is: how do you accept people finding you attractive, when you personally don't find yourself attractive at all? When you actually think about how what they think is good, you think is urgh? Does it make you wonder about their sanity? Does it make you wonder about their motives? What does it make you wonder?

And can you then take them seriously, when they like something that, to your mind, is so clearly not likeable?

(Not sure any of that made sense...)

Speedy EDIT for clarity:
If you find yourself unattractive, but someone else views you as attractive, how do you square that difference of opinion? When they hold that view that you don't agree with, how does that work? Do you find yourself doubting them for liking what, to your mind is bad? Or what?
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