Wily as a coyote (fourcorners) wrote in thequestionclub,
Wily as a coyote
fourcorners
thequestionclub

Poll #1763332 Note to the teacher

Dear Mrs. Kerplowski, Please excuse Susan from class today. She came down with a case of ______

Chicken pox
4(4.5%)
Black plague
31(34.8%)
Severe nicotine withdrawl fits
15(16.9%)
The summertime blues
10(11.2%)
Jack Daniels
29(32.6%)

We think that Susan may have caught this ______.

On the school bus
5(5.7%)
In your unhygenic classroom
16(18.4%)
Off the internet
25(28.7%)
By being cursed by a gypsy
28(32.2%)
From masturbation (in our household, we don't deter the young'uns with talk of hairy palms and blindness)
13(14.9%)

She's aware there's a quiz on Friday, but did not bring home her schoolbook. Can you ask ______?

Fiona to bring it over after school?
4(4.5%)
Yourself what kind of joybuzz quizzes students on a Friday?
29(33.0%)
That kid with the lazy eye to stop looking at her? It gives Susan the creeps
7(8.0%)
Ramon the janitor if he's got any more of that good weed for sale?
28(31.8%)
The other teachers where my lap goes when I stand up? That question's been bothering me my whole adult life
20(22.7%)

Susan may be out a couple days from this ailment. I promise to give you my doctor's ______

Note excusing her absence
7(8.0%)
Xanax prescription if you don't ask any more questions about her absence
39(44.3%)
Warning about being morbidly obese. We just happened to be talking about you at the time
13(14.8%)
Bill. Between the two of us, I think we can pay it
29(33.0%)

Thank you for being so understanding. Susan didn't want to fall behind in your class. She always says you're her favorite teacher because _______. Sincerely, Susan's mother

You listen to her and make Civics quite interesting
7(8.0%)
She's such a kissass and hopes you give her an A for this lame compliment
18(20.5%)
You have the nicest rack of all the teachers at her school
17(19.3%)
You don't monitor her internet usage in class
30(34.1%)
You're the only person in school with a bigger butt than her. She feels less conscientious about it now that she's met you
16(18.2%)
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 10 comments