basementape (basementape) wrote in thequestionclub,
basementape
basementape
thequestionclub

My mom is a lifelong member of an amateur, volunteer church choir. There's a man who's been in that choir for a good 40 years; however, he probably joined when he was 50 so if you can do the math he's pretty old. On top of being old, he is deaf and has completely lost any talent he ever had as a singer (which wasn't much to begin with). My whole life (and I'm 24) he's never been a good singer. But no one's said anything because it's a volunteer church choir.

Well over the last few years this man has surely started to show signs of Alzheimer's. He is completely incapable of recognizing any cues, to the point where he sings loudly and for a long time when no one else is singing, or during someone else's solo. He can't follow directions and is constantly asking for help. He relies on other choir members to bring him to and from practice and services, and has even started taking other people's music (and personal belongings) because he thinks they're his. Bottom line, everyone feels that he is quite disruptive.

Clearly he can't handle being in the choir anymore. The choir director wants to very politely, and with as much tact as possible, "retire" him. However, the church (and the choir) are one of his major passions. This might devestate him.

Is the choir director justified in kicking him out?

EDIT - Thanks for the response guys. Most of these sentiments are the ones I agree with, but I'll add a few things just to play devils advocate:

- He's been the choir librarian and had other roles in the past; he can't handle it. He can't properly put his own shoes on in the morning
- He has a son that the church is in contact with. I'll admit I'm not sure what the son's feelings are on the subject. But it appears he's getting enough help from his family that he still lives on his own.
- I completely agree that the lack of singing talent should not disbar you from an amateur, volunteer, everyone's-welcome church choir. There are more than a few memebers of that choir that flat-out can't sing. The difference is with this man is that his lack of singing talent is actually disruptive to the choir, and to the church service, thereby disrupting everyone's worship experience.
- If the director decides to do so, she will consult with the parish priest and the man's family first.

I present these things not to try to suggest that the overwhelming "no's" aren't right. I'm kind of leaning towards don't kick him out as well. I just...I definitely see the other side as well and may not have clarified this very well.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 33 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →