Kayley (saloonperfume) wrote in thequestionclub,
Kayley
saloonperfume
thequestionclub


So, my best friend of about 10 years has been in a LDR with this guy for about two years. In that time, he's proven to be a controlling, jealous ("I don't want you going out unless I'm there with you"), and emotionally neglectful jerk (hasn't seen her in a year, but shows no intention of trying to see her when she visits his country this summer), but she considers herself still in love with him. However, she's now in the preliminary stages of cheating (flirting, going on dates) on the fiance with a guy she works with who is meeting her needs emotionally like her fiance never has, but the coworker is completely ignorant of the fact that she's engaged. She considers herself as crushing on the co-worker.

Anyway, she's coming to me for direction, because she's confused and she feels bad. I basically told her she needs to tell the co-worker about her fiance in Italy like NOW, and needs to seriously consider ending the relationship that is causing her so much misery, preferably before things take off with the coworker. Well, so far she has refused to do none of those things. She's an adult and I obviously can't force her to do anything, but she's still coming to me asking me what to do!

TQC, what would you do if you were me in this situation?
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