Which of these lines, if heard on a first date, would be enough to cease any further dates?
"I was fired from my job at the porn shop for borrowing the merchandise. I'm between jobs right now"
"I've thought about it, and Sarah Palin makes the most sense for 2012. I defy you to find a more professional, intelligent politician"
"Prison changes a man. It makes you hard....and somewhat more open to bisexuality"
"I was on Fear Factor, and I had to eat 10 live cockroaches. Wasn't as bad as you think. Crunchy. However, if you cook them with lemon and butter, they're pretty delish"
"Fucking bitch ruined my life. I hate my ex. Let me list all the things she did wrong"
"Reading? You like...reading? Not for school? That's pretty weird. All those words...for fun?"
"I don't have a place at the moment. I'm between apartments. I'm crashing on my friend Pat's couch right now"
"Incidentally, there isn't a roofie colada, as popularized on Family Guy. No, it's a roofie-tini. There's only a few drinks that mix well with roofies. I know a lot about roofies"
It's not so much what he says, but you notice that he eyes your boobs several times throughout dinner
"Animals sort of bother me. All they do is shit and eat. I don't understand pets or the people who have them"
"Oh dear. You DON'T speak latin? Oh, that's fine and all, but we'll just have to tell our kids you're the dumb one. Haha"
"Tipping is for suckers. In this employment market, these waiters should be happy they even have a job. We all got money problems"
"I've had sex on every first date I've ever been on. Here's a toast...to tradition"
"This is some of the only real times I can date. I have to wait til basketball and football season is over. I'm glued to the couch during those months"
"There's not one drug I haven't tried. Several times at least. Hey, you only live once"