|Dating the "Nice Guy"
||[Nov. 27th, 2016|12:59 pm]
The Question Club
I've recently turned 30 and been dating a really nice guy for the last two years. Just like everyone else, I've had a dysfunctional history of dating the "wrong guy", bad boys, assholes, and the emotionally unavailable. I am very attracted to men who are outgoing, confident, and charming. They are my weakness. However, the guy I've been dating is very shy and introverted, which tends to drive me nuts. I am the dominant one in this relationship, whereas in the past I've always dated dominant guys. The problem I am having is that I am bored and wondering if the "grass is greener", and constantly wondering if there is a guy better suited for me where we have more in common.
Before I met this guy I was in a serious relationship with a man who was not faithful, dysfunctional, abusive towards me, etc but I was so "in love" and tried to make him happy, even though I never felt good enough. I finally saw sense and ended the relationship four years later. I was then single for another four or five years with a slew of first dates that never went anywhere. And finally I met the "nice guy". Let's call him Chris.
Chris is committed, devoted, loyal, loves me unconditionally, and safe. He will move heaven and Earth for me. I've prayed for a guy like Chris and know nice guys are HARD to find, but the problem I'm having is I don't know if he's the "one". It feels nice to be treated so well after all the pain and misery I have endured from my former dating life, but it's not enough. I am bored and find myself wanting to change him all the time. This isn't fair on Chris and I should be more accepting. The main problem is that we don't have a lot in common, I'm not that sexually attracted to him, and sometimes find him boring. I've struggled with this for so long because I fear that one day like 10 years from now when I'm 40 and still single, I'll think back to when I let a good man get away. And of course, I know the guys I tend to date are no good for me either.
So has anyone overcome this or know what to do in such a predicament?
Our main issue is that we don't have a lot in common. I feel like I have to force him into social situations or travel. The only thing we have in common is motorcycles and we have travelled together on motorbikes. However, I always wanted to be in a relationship where I share the experiences with a partner. I know you can't do everything with your partner but it would be nice if we had something other than motorbikes. I'm not sure what to do because he is a great partner and we both don't want kids (which is a big deal) and hard to find.