saintwithasw0rd (saintwithasw0rd) wrote in thequestionclub,
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Being spiritual when misnthropic?

How does one develop a spirituality and a sense of peace when one does not like people?

My husband and I have repeatedly put ourselves out there to help people, to support people, to be thoughtful and available. But we basically get nothing in return. Time and time again, the "friends" we reach out to to support fail to do it in return. They are self-absorbed, unsupportive, and completely disappear emotionally when you are at your lowest. And it isn't just the same people. Whenever we meet new people and try to develop new friendships and are there for people, we get shit on or ignored or undervalued. Yeah, we will be there for you, watch your animals, listen to you when you are having a terrible time, check in on you when we know you are down, listen to you when you need to vent or need advice, etc. But when something happens to us -- dead father, an illness, or just remembering to say thank you when we do something for you -- they are nowhere to be found. Time and again, this happens, and we are hardly ever remembered or thought of or checked in on. Even a good friend, the wife of a pastor, not once called to check in on us after my FIL died. And our neighbors? We had them over for dinner, watched their animals for a week, donated 100 dollars to their non-profit, and then yesterday they made plans with our other neighbors to "spend time with the best neighbors in the world" (facebook post) and never thought to even invite us?? WTF??

It hurts. And it makes us hate humans.

How does one find spiritual balance and peace when one is constantly being taken for granted and ignored, even when life has gone to shit?

We are thoughtful, caring, and supportive friends. We are awesome friends. But there doesn't seem to be many people out there that know how to be good friends, and it is really hurting us beyond repair.  
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