elikaa (elikaa) wrote in thequestionclub,

I'm having some issues with my mum and was wondering if any of you had any advice for me:

I think my mum is jealous of mine and my best friends relationship. I see him every other week, usually he comes over to mine and I'll cook something for us to eat, or I'll go over to his and he'll cook something for me. When he's over at mine however, my mum doesn't leave us alone. She'll come into my room and wait to take over the conversation we were having, or she'll rush in and ask my best friend to come and look at something she found on her computer despite us being mid convo. When I'm cooking for my best friend, she'll come into the kitchen and do stuff to get in the way, like organize the cutlery draw or start baking a pie. She also likes to belittle me in front of my best friend by making fun of my cooking and insinuating I'm a terrible cook even though I know I'm not and my best friend loves my food. Today she really got on my tits because I told her I was baking my boyfriend stuff for valentines day last week, and my best friend was coming over to help, so could she leave us alone in the kitchen to do that because she usually gets in the way right as we're trying to sort out food.

She comes into my room this morning to tell me she has her friends coming over in the evening and that she wants to cook something in the oven if that's OK with me. I tell her its fine, my baking won't take me more than 2 hours. She decides she wants to cook something that is going to take 5 hours in the oven. I'm a little pissed but its fine, I move the thing shes cooking down lower in the oven and bake my stuff one at a time. As I'm on my second tray, she comes in and starts making a fuss because she wants her dinner to cook in time for her friends to come and why am I taking so long to bake and can I just hurry up and finish already so she can make what she needs to. My best friend shoots me a look because he knows she does this all the time and it pisses me off, and I get so annoyed I grab my stuff out the oven, move it up to my room and stay there with my friend for the rest of the evening.

I ask him if I was being childish for storming off like that and he said no, my mum is really unreasonable every time he is over and it makes him uncomfortable too.

EDIT: If it matters I do pay rent to stay here and I feeling resentment towards that because I feel like she's still treating me like a child despite me being a tenant that lives here and should be able to use the oven when I ask in advance.

What would you say to her TQC? I feel like the reason she keeps doing this is because I don't open my mouth and tell her shes being a pain but she always blows my attempts at telling her she upsets me way out of proportion and I still have to live with her. I feel too angry right now to know what is and isn't acceptable to say.

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