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Wedding Etiquette [Jan. 17th, 2013|09:59 pm]
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[looloosmells]
My dad told me to not be surprised if a lot of people show up for the reception and not to the actual church ceremony.  I think that's pretty lousy.  Is this common?
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[User Picture]From: couturelights
2013-01-18 03:01 am (UTC)

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makes sense to me.
[User Picture]From: schexyschteve
2013-01-18 03:10 am (UTC)

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Probably fairly common, when the ceremony and reception are in separate locations. It happened at the last 2 weddings I've been to, where they were in separate locations.
[User Picture]From: sicher
2013-01-18 03:10 am (UTC)

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That happens a lot, yeah.
[User Picture]From: due27south
2013-01-18 03:16 am (UTC)

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Free food and boring ceremony vs. just free food? Hmmmmm....
[User Picture]From: salamandertoast
2013-01-18 03:16 am (UTC)

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that seems normal
[User Picture]From: xopiateslavex
2013-01-18 03:23 am (UTC)

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Fairly. My sister did the big wedding, and about half of the invited didn't come to the wedding, but most of them showed at the reception.
[User Picture]From: saikaro_x
2013-01-18 03:25 am (UTC)

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yeah, i feel like most people skip the ceremony and just go to the reception.
[User Picture]From: ironphoenix
2013-01-18 03:27 am (UTC)

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It may be common in some circles, but it's rude. I don't think anyone did this at my wedding, and I made extensive apologies when my schedule made it impossible for me to attend the ceremony but possible to attend the reception, and still felt somewhat awkward.
[User Picture]From: bottledjayme
2013-01-18 02:51 pm (UTC)

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I agree with this - The rudeness and feeling awkward. I am just shocked that it's seemingly commonplace!
[User Picture]From: socraticomatic
2013-01-18 03:27 am (UTC)

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That's pretty shitty. I don't think it's common here in Australia. The service and the reception are both part of "the wedding", and they're invited to the wedding.
[User Picture]From: lillyluna
2013-01-18 03:30 am (UTC)

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Ceremonies are boring and the reception is fun.

It's rude as fuck but pretty common.
[User Picture]From: whataspacecase
2013-01-18 03:36 am (UTC)

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I once met a couple kids who thought I should have horns on my head because I was Jewish but they had no issue with me and were all "well okay then" when they discovered the lack of horns. Which I feel like is acceptable. they were homeschooled in a tiny christian town called Accident (seriously) and lived like 5 miles from their nearest neighbor and etc.
[User Picture]From: thunderflyer
2013-01-18 04:33 am (UTC)

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???
[User Picture]From: obfuscate
2013-01-18 03:41 am (UTC)

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I have no idea if it's common, but I think it's rude. The one time I've done it was (first of all, my husband didn't want to go to the actual wedding, but...) when the reception was five hours after the wedding and about forty miles away. Eff that. Not happening.
[User Picture]From: ck29
2013-01-18 03:42 am (UTC)

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I think about 10-15% of my guests did this.
[User Picture]From: heyfashion
2013-01-18 03:48 am (UTC)

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I think it's pretty common, at least in my experience. Actually the last handful of weddings i've been to there were substantially more people at the reception than at the ceremony :\
[User Picture]From: whataspacecase
2013-01-18 04:00 am (UTC)

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you know what, if you want people to come to the church ceremony, communicate that! it's your wedding.
[User Picture]From: box_of_rocks
2013-01-18 01:30 pm (UTC)

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Doesn't the wedding invite communicate that?
[User Picture]From: dawgdays
2013-01-18 04:39 am (UTC)

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People really do this? Seriously? Rude!

The purpose of a wedding is to acknowledge and honor the joining of the lives of the couple. To skip out on the ceremony where that actually happens, and to then take advantage of the party, seems quite self-centered on the part of the guests.

If it's common, then I guess I'm appalled at how self-centered people are these days.
[User Picture]From: design_star_21
2013-01-18 05:03 am (UTC)

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This.
[User Picture]From: honor_reid
2013-01-18 04:57 am (UTC)

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I think it has become more common but it is incredibly rude.
[User Picture]From: pamelalabella
2013-01-18 05:01 am (UTC)

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it didn't happen at my wedding but I had mine both at the same location.. I didn't know it was a thing..
[User Picture]From: lutine
2013-01-18 06:58 am (UTC)

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Somewhat common and incredibly rude.

A few people did that for my first wedding, but that was because they didn't get off work in time to make the earlier ceremony. It didn't bother me because I knew that they would have gone to both if they could have and they weren't just skipping it because they thought it was boring.

For my second, I deliberately chose to invite most people to the reception only. I wanted a very small private ceremony and it was at the courthouse anyway.
[User Picture]From: textstfu_emokid
2013-01-18 07:10 am (UTC)

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Sadly, it is very common and very rude. The least you can do is sit for an hour or two in exchange for some free food and fun!

You should hand out tickets at the ceremony which people will need to get into the reception lololol
[User Picture]From: box_of_rocks
2013-01-18 01:29 pm (UTC)

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An hour or two? Good lord, if I had to go to a 2 hour ceremony, it better be someone really important to me or else I'm skipping! My ceremony was like 20 minutes...
[User Picture]From: hereisfar
2013-01-18 09:51 am (UTC)

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I suppose it is common but I couldn't imagine doing that. All the weddings I have attended were at the same location. My mother's was on the outdoor deck of an upscale restaurant that overlooks the river and the ceremony was really short.
[User Picture]From: hikerpoet
2013-01-18 12:33 pm (UTC)

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I have not noticed this phenomenon! I wonder if it is either recent (I have enormous waves of friends and cousins getting married five to ten years ago but not so many recently) or regional. It seems understandable if there is a schedule conflict and someone gives you the heads up about it with apologies, like someone mentioned above, or if there are a lot of people driving in from a couple of hours away and they intend to make the ceremony but there is loads of traffic. But otherwise weird and rude.
[User Picture]From: sarahonlife
2013-01-18 12:54 pm (UTC)

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If the ceremony and reception are in places far away from each other or there is a long time in between, it's pretty common. If they are in the same place it's pretty uncommon.
[User Picture]From: noodledays
2013-01-19 01:02 am (UTC)

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this is what I've noticed too.
[User Picture]From: sylviamaris
2013-01-18 01:15 pm (UTC)

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It's bad etiquette, but no, don't be surprised.
[User Picture]From: box_of_rocks
2013-01-18 01:28 pm (UTC)

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the only people that did that for my wedding were my coworkers - one of them had to work til late and the others drove with her. Though... honestly for all I know a bunch mor people did that, because I wasn't really counting heads while I was up there saying my vows.
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