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[Dec. 19th, 2012|02:13 pm]
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After a year of being together, I am finally beginning to develop a friendship with my s/o's father. Her parents are divorcing immediately after the holidays and her mother is, quite frankly, a zombie and treats my s/o and her brothers like shit they don't exist.

Do I get her parents Christmas gifts? Do I buy for both or just her dad? Any gift suggestions? I don't want to get anything too formal...

[User Picture]From: verygwen
2012-12-19 07:24 pm (UTC)


I think that people should only give presents to people they actually want to give presents to. So, in your case, this sounds like her dad. If he has a sense of humor, get him a silly Christmas tie or crazy Christmas socks.
[User Picture]From: just_3_euros
2012-12-19 07:25 pm (UTC)


[User Picture]From: manderleys
2012-12-19 07:58 pm (UTC)


are you spending the christmas holiday with both of her parents at the same time? if so, get them both a gift. if not, i think it's fine to only give one to her dad. a book, a funny tie, a cookbook, movie or museum passes for him and your SO to use together as a bonding activity (or for you to go too, depending on your comfort level)
[User Picture]From: kelj99
2012-12-19 08:26 pm (UTC)


Have you asked her what she thinks? It is good to get input from the SO since a gift for one and not the other has the potential to impact the relationship she has with them.

What are the Christmas arrangements? If you see the dad separately, it is probably ok to just get him a gift and not the mother. If you will be sharing a meal with the mother at her home or if they will all be together, I think it is probably for the best to include her for the sake of harmony and politeness (if she is the host).

If the father is a beer drinking, maybe just a six pack with the bottles decorated as reindeer...saw this on pinterest somewhere...
[User Picture]From: ticktockman
2012-12-19 08:59 pm (UTC)


Think long-term. Both of these people might well become your in-laws. You need to reach out and show respect to both of them, not just your favorite. It sounds like your SO's mother is significantly hurting right now with the breakup of her marriage, and not very well able to deal with the world around her. That's a horrific place to be.

Your gift to each of them should express your wishes for a happy future relationship, not a reward (or punishment) for what's happened in the past. Don't spend more than you can afford -- a small box of chocolates to each of them will show that you hope they'll each have a sweet new year.