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[Nov. 18th, 2012|05:57 pm]
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[gracilejenn]
I asked out a guy that I really like and he accepted. We're going out next week.

Please please please, what can I do to not be a bumbling idiot on this date.

I'm smart, I'm well read, but around this guy I lose it and I don't want to. I want a second date out of it, if at all possible.

How do I make this happen?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: claddaghemerald
2012-11-19 12:01 am (UTC)

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Honestly, try and be yourself. Just think that if you try to act any other way he won't see who you really are.

Remember that if he doesn't like you or want another date it's not the end of the world, as someone should like you for you.

Breath and try to relax. Slow, calm breaths.
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:49 am (UTC)

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I know...he just makes me lose focus, he always has.

I will try to relax and remember to breathe.

Thank you.
[User Picture]From: rawtoast
2012-11-19 12:05 am (UTC)

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Try to relax and not put too much pressure on yourself. The fact that he agreed to go out with you suggests that you may not "lose it" as much as you think you do, but in my experience, when you're focused on whether or not you are a "bumbling idiot" it makes you more likely to act like one. Try not to think too much about whether or not a second date is going to happen and enjoy the first date!
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:51 am (UTC)

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I am working in the relaxing. I think that the more afraid I am of messing up, the more likely it is that I will. I think you're right.
I'm going to enjoy the first date as much as I can.
[User Picture]From: rawtoast
2012-11-19 01:06 am (UTC)

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After all, enjoying it is the whole point! :) Good luck.
[User Picture]From: xphilega
2012-11-19 12:24 am (UTC)

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I hate to say it, but if you are awkward or bumbling in real life, eventually it will come out around this guy... whether it is on date 1 or date 30. You will find someone who likes and accepts you for you. Be yourself, relax, and dont get too invested in this date. People can tell when you try too hard, and, as I said, if you pretend you are someone you arent, it will come out eventually. And in my experience, both of those tend to be bigger dealbreakers than the things that we ourselves think are a bit awkward or clumsy.
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:53 am (UTC)

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What's weird is that I am usually in control, except around this guy.

Thank you for the advice, though. I will do my best to relax and just enjoy the moment.
[User Picture]From: xphilega
2012-11-19 01:11 am (UTC)

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Just enjoy your time then! Good luck!
[User Picture]From: twerksgiving
2012-11-19 12:26 am (UTC)

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The fact he said yes should make you feel less nervous. Also as cheesy as it sounds be yourself, well a first date kind of version of yourself. Pretending to be someone you're not will always come out in the long run. Plus whenever you get nervous remember he poops too, just a human.
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:53 am (UTC)

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Lol, thank you. That makes me feel better!
[User Picture]From: fieryphoenix
2012-11-19 12:27 am (UTC)

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Wearing a fursuit is a good ice breaker.
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:54 am (UTC)

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That's true, but unfortunately, I'm fresh out.
[User Picture]From: ellelelle
2012-11-19 12:30 am (UTC)

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To me, it sounds like you've already done the hard part.

The guy already likes you enough to go on a date with you, in that sense the battle is won.

Just continue to be yourself, go somewhere where you feel comfortable. Somewhere that's your territory; a pub or cafe you regularly go to.

Also, well done and go you.
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:55 am (UTC)

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Thank you! I decided to go for it and I did.
And we're going to a very nice place, it'll be fun.
Thank you.
[User Picture]From: eqo
2012-11-19 12:32 am (UTC)

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Be yourself. If he can't accept you for who you are, then why would you want to date him?
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:56 am (UTC)

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Thank you. I needed to hear that.
[User Picture]From: saintwithasw0rd
2012-11-19 12:40 am (UTC)

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Be honest and tell him once you get in the car/where you are going that you apologize ahead of time because you are really nervous and you may say something stupid or act weird/talk too fast/tell stupid jokes. Tell him that is just how you are on dates. Laugh at yourself.

A shot of tequila beforehand couldn't hurt, either.
[User Picture]From: gracilejenn
2012-11-19 12:57 am (UTC)

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This sounds like something I would do, for real.

Maybe not the tequila, though!
[User Picture]From: freshsocks
2012-11-19 12:47 am (UTC)

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When my crush asked me out back in May I felt the same way! When we went on our date, I was honest with him. I said I'm super nervous and excited, so if I mumble on I apologize. He laughed and said he felt the same way. After talking a bit more my nerves went away. We've been dating since :)

Just be honest and be yourself. If he really likes you, things will work out :D
[User Picture]From: penngwyn
2012-11-19 08:04 am (UTC)

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Desperation is widely reckoned to be a turn-off. Don't focus on the prospect of future dates -- try to ensure that you (both...) enjoy this one, and so you'll both want to do it again.

Breathing is good, too. Almost nothing is so bad it can't be improved by a lungfull of clean fresh air, and nothing is so bad it can't be made worse by being starved for oxygen. Breathe, relax, repeat.
[User Picture]From: holleratyogirl8
2012-11-19 01:22 pm (UTC)

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There's a guy in my social circle who used to make me obscenely nervous. I was completely star struck around him and acted like a bumbling 13-year-old girl around a Hanson brother. It was bad. I ended up discovering a trick that helped me... whenever I was talking to him, I would start to visualize someone else's face [specifically, another guy named Drew who I felt totally comfortable with but no sexual feelings for] instead of his. I would just pretend I was talking to Drew and not feel those nervous school girl "omg he's talking to me, omg omg what do I do?" feelings.

Good luck ;)
[User Picture]From: mr_sadhead
2012-11-19 03:45 pm (UTC)

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This is going to be fun, so kick back and have fun! You're under no pressure to perform.