You are viewing thequestionclub

The Question Club - [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The Question Club

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[Nov. 11th, 2012|02:02 am]
Previous Entry Add to Memories Share Next Entry


I just lost my job today. I didn't see it coming, at all whatsoever, and I'm lost and heartbroken. I also rent a studio attached to my employer's home, so I'm being forced out of that as well. They love me and couldn't name any reasons other than they just "feel" it isn't a long term fit, so they want to be flexible with me and help make this transition easy, but I'm at a complete loss.

Can you tell me anything that might motivate me? Or make me feel less like stabbing myself? Maybe your own story of overcoming adversity/loss? This is the third time in a year I've lost absolutely everything. I'm tired of it and I don't know what to do to not keep ending up in situations that blow up in my face. I don't think I'm doing anything to attract this, but good lord it keeps happening over and over and I'm tired.

Edit: What are some tips you can share for job hunting? What has worked for you or others in the past? I've finally realized I just have to get out there and do it.

[User Picture]From: kissofcinnamon
2012-11-11 10:15 am (UTC)


I don't have any wisdom or stories to share, but I'm so sorry this happened. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
[User Picture]From: holleratyogirl8
2012-11-11 10:33 am (UTC)


Thank you.
[User Picture]From: isie
2012-11-11 11:35 am (UTC)


Am really sorry to hear that. This may be the third time this year that you've had a major setback but that just demonstrates your strength and that you CAN and WILL recover from this, just like you did the other setbacks. You should be proud of your resilience and strength. Jobhunting can be very tedious and demotivating but try to get into the habit of applying for a few jobs everyday and making sure your CV is up-to-date, concise and reads well.

I went on a free interview masterclass course once which I found really useful, as I haven't had many job interviews. if you can find something locally like that, it might help build confidence up for the next stage of jobhunting.
[User Picture]From: zombiefruit
2012-11-11 12:16 pm (UTC)


I'm sorry, that sucks so much.

My tip for job hunting is to be honest about the fact that you have failings. One of the things my current place of employment really liked about me in my interview was that they asked for a time when someone had a problem with something and they were right, and I told them about how I wasn't very punctual when I first started in the job market and how I used the experience of getting in trouble for it as a catalyst to become a very diligent, punctual worker (which I then obviously backed up by being a diligent and punctual worker when they hired me).

Also, people don't like being given problems; they like solutions. So for example, in the above example, I told them I wasn't very punctual when I was younger, but then I immediately countered it by explaining that I grew from the experience and resolved the issue. This is also a rule I follow when working, as much as I can. I COULD go to my manager and say, "There is an issue which is causing XYZ." But I choose to go to my manager and say, "The issue is XYZ, my proposed solution is ABC. What do you think?" - so they know me as someone who brings them solutions.

I don't know how helpful that is. Probably not very.

Good luck job searching. Don't sell yourself short.
[User Picture]From: holleratyogirl8
2012-11-11 12:42 pm (UTC)


No, that's helpful actually. I've found that a lot of my hatred/hesitance towards searching for a job has come from the previous encouragement I was given to bluff on my resume. It's never felt good to look for a job knowing that some of it is crap, but that's what I was encouraged to do before and led to believe was standard. I feel that I've had a lot of valuable experiences (2 office jobs, 2 retail, 2 private nanny, overall history of long employment) but I want to be marked by my character and honesty above all and work for people who value those things. I'm learning that I need to be confident in my skills, but also my own history and where I've come through it.
[User Picture]From: zombiefruit
2012-11-11 03:14 pm (UTC)


Yeah, it's just not very confidence-inspiring to feel you have to carry on supporting those lies.
[User Picture]From: failstoexist
2012-11-11 12:17 pm (UTC)


Were you working for your employer in their home? If so, I can see why you were living there, but maybe find a more long term living situation in the future so that if you do need to leave a job for some reason, you will not lose *everything* at once. But it seems like you're strong and will be able to pick up and move on.

Job hunting is a job. It's more work that most jobs I've had. It's exhausting but you need to explore every option. I would apply to things that don't even sound that good, first off as practice interviews to gain confidence, but also because you never know when things turn out to be great. I was not excited at all going to the interview for my job I have right now, and it turned out to be SUCH a great place to work with amazing people, and even though it's not the job I wanted, I'm trying to stick around and move up into the job I really wanted.
[User Picture]From: holleratyogirl8
2012-11-11 12:43 pm (UTC)


Yeah, I've been their private nanny. It's a studio that is very separate from their living quarters, but I do need to find another place to live which is half of my stress - I have horrible awful credit and have no idea how I'm going to do that, even if I had the money for it. I've been working as a private nanny for the last year and half, so that hasn't been a problem, and prior to that I lived at home.
[User Picture]From: holleratyogirl8
2012-11-11 12:46 pm (UTC)


Thank you <3 And I also agree, after this situation I think I'm done with being a nanny and DEFINITELY done with living-on-the-property situations, because losing everything at once is hard.
[User Picture]From: loveandbees
2012-11-11 12:48 pm (UTC)


I'm really sorry to hear this, being unemployed absolutely sucks :(
When I was unemployed I applied for every job possible, including the lowest paying, easiest, most rubbish jobs. Income is income, and if you get that sort of job you at least are earning whilst trying to get a better one. After months and months of solid searching, I got a rubbish job but have now moved up and have a better position at the company. I only suggest applying for everything you can and not getting too upset at rejections. If you are struggling with money, are benefits an option? I don't know where you live, but in England we have jobseeker's allowance, which is really useful.
Good luck, and try not to feel too bad! Things will work out :)
[User Picture]From: epitones
2012-11-11 02:32 pm (UTC)


I'm sorry this happened to you :(

I'm now an old hat at job hunting (not sure if that is a good thing or not, probably not), so here are some tips... i live in England so the culture/what is expected of you might be different there, but this is what has worked for/helped me.
Applying for a job/writing application forms:
- looking for a full time job is a full time job in itself
- always, always include a cover letter, even if the job only asks for a CV (resume) and/or completed application form
- be prepared to apply for jobs below your skill set/ideal wage
- but don't apply for jobs you have no intention of accepting, it just wastes everyone's time. I know this sounds obvious, but when people are desperate they do apply for jobs they don't want because they apply for everything. For example, don't apply for a job that you know you can't travel to
- don't be necessarily put off by jobs which state that you need experience/a qualification you may not have. The last two jobs i've been offered i applied for even though both of them, in the person specification, stated that it was "essential" for me to have science qualifications/2 years experience in a similar post, neither of which I had. This is not always negotiable - obviously for some jobs it really is a (sometimes legal) requirement to have certain qualifications - but others, the "essential criteria" is not always essential.
- do some real research about the organisation/department you're applying to
- by far the thing that has helped me the most is that you must go into the interview room with confidence that you will get the job and that the job is for you, you just need to tell them why you're the best fit
- try and think of how you have learnt from mistakes in your previous jobs as they will often ask about this
- you are not the only one being interviewed, it's also a chance for you to interview them to see if they are a good fit/employer for you. you are normally given the opportunity to ask questions, so make sure you do. In my last interview i asked questions about the prospects for training and development and also if they have an appraisal system
- they give the job to the person who wants it the most

I just read that you've been a nanny so idk if those tips will apply to you if you're looking for a similar job.

I graduated from university 3 years ago and I couldn't get any jobs that I wanted to do, and ended up working 2 part time jobs, one as a receptionist and the other in a shoe shop. After 6 months I got a job as a lab assistant and after 18 months I was promoted, and now I've just been offered a much better job doing administration at a university. All this has meant my wage has doubled since i was working 2 jobs. I felt absolutely hopeless for a long time but i just had to keep working my ass off until I got somewhere.

I hope you find something soon :)
[User Picture]From: starrchilde
2012-11-11 03:07 pm (UTC)


I'm sorry that you're going through this and am sending many positive thoughts your way.

As far as job hunting, is my favorite 'job board' because they pull from multiple sources all at once (monster, dice, local resources, etc). I saw above that you had padded your resume, remove the fluff and be honest about what you can do, because it's better than getting in and finding out you're way over your head and drowning. This is especially important if there's the potential to be expected to hit the ground running, so to speak, because it'll show you're not honest and make employers less willing to work with you later.

Also along that vein, see if you have any friends who are good at writing resumes and maybe they can help polish it up, check for context/spelling issues, etc. If you're putting your best foot forward from the get go, then you have that going for you.

Don't forget to write cover letters that specifically mention the job you're applying for and what strengths you would bring to the company. A lot of companies now won't even look at a resume that doesn't have a compelling cover letter attached to it.

Are you in the position to live at home while looking for work/while you save up some money? If so set up an agreement to pay rent to your family but still set aside enough money to find something that will work for you. If not, check craigslist and see if you can find a roommate you mesh well with and attack it from that aspect.

Good luck!
[User Picture]From: annamarie326
2012-11-11 04:12 pm (UTC)


I'm so sorry to hear that I've been a nanny for thirteen years and every now and then have lost the position unexpectedly. I never lived in and was very lucky that at 18 one of the moms wrote a letter to the apartment complex I applied to vouching for the fact that I could afford it. I lived there for four years until I bought a home.

Are you still looking for nanny positions or something else? For nanny positions I generally have gone for special needs with my medical background and have made $15-25/hr but I was also able to use the nanny skills I learned to beef up my résumé. My company I was hired by as a medic was happy to have someone who was good with kids.</p>

I'm so sorry you lost your position so suddenly and I hope you find something soon!

[User Picture]From: teefers
2012-11-11 04:17 pm (UTC)


Oh right, to make the transition easy, we'll also evict you from where you live. lol, how thoughtful.
The suggestion that comes to mind is to not put all your eggs in one basket. Oh, and keep that chin up :3
[User Picture]From: sblmnldrknss
2012-11-11 04:21 pm (UTC)


I feel for you. I'm in a totally different position in life, but I feel like the hits keep on coming. Someone's just yanking the rug out from under me time and time again and I can't get my bearings. It completely sucks and you have my sympathy.

My only suggestion is to explore all the options. Look for anything and everything. Send your resume to all kinds of positions, even ones that don't sound like your cup of tea or that you think you might not quite be qualified for. You never know what you might come across.

Good luck on things. I hope something works out for you soon.
[User Picture]From: bad_lcuk
2012-11-11 04:54 pm (UTC)


This will be an opportunity to move forward and find a company that will fit you better. Hopefully even though the change is scary, it will be a positive change at the end of the day. Use that as leverage in your life.

(i know this sucks, i wish you the best of luck, its an intimidating position to be in :))
[User Picture]From: ghoulia
2012-11-11 05:50 pm (UTC)


I'm sorry you're going through this.
I don't think you sound like you have a problem with motivation. In fact, reading over your post & comments - you sound highly motivated. Great! Now you just need to put your self out there to,, etc. Are you interested in working for a school district? In Massachusetts you could be a paraprofessional with 2 years of college - doesn't pay great but it's a full time position and you work with kids...something that you have experience with already. has school listings for New England, not sure where you are but I'd give that a shot.

Don't bluff on your resume but do have multiple people look at it to help tweak & perfect it. How about a good cover letter? I know that working with a friend to write it made it 10xbetter than working alone.

One day at a time. You'll get through this. And eventually it will be a good learning experience. This is not a comfort now - I have been laid off and when I heard people tell me "One door closing is another window opening" I basically wanted to stab them in the eyeball - but it was sort of true for me in the end!! Good luck!