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[Nov. 11th, 2012|01:24 am]
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[plasmic_slime]
I work in a fairly posh boutique hotel. I do everything - reception, waitressing, bar work, you name it. 
On the weekends, a couple of teenagers come in to help out in the restaurant. One of them is the rudest, most up himself 18 year old you have ever come across, and takes great pleasure in patronising me and telling me what to do, and also being incredibly rude to the other 18 year old part-timer. He's incredibly posh and entitled, and I am sick of his attitude, especially as i'm senior in age and postion. 

How do I deal with him? 
I'm torn between putting him in his place, ignoring him (which is incredibly difficult as he seeks me out to tell me what to do) or being overly nice to him.

Dk/dc: Who's the worst person you've had to work with? How did you deal with them?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: plugmebaby
2012-11-11 01:28 am (UTC)

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be patronising.
[User Picture]From: mzkitteh
2012-11-11 01:31 am (UTC)

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Is he the son of the owner/manager or something?

I'd speak to who ever your superior is. He shouldn't be allowed to get away with treating anyone like that.
[User Picture]From: plasmic_slime
2012-11-11 01:33 am (UTC)

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It's difficult because i'm so new. I would give him as good back but I don't 100% know what i'm doing. I'm FINE taking instruction and the girl training me is only slightly older than him, he's just got a hideous attitude.
[User Picture]From: mzkitteh
2012-11-11 01:45 am (UTC)

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But what is his actual position though?
[User Picture]From: plasmic_slime
2012-11-11 01:54 am (UTC)

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Plain old part time waiter. Nothing special.
[User Picture]From: mzkitteh
2012-11-11 01:55 am (UTC)

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Oh ok then that makes all the difference right there. Show him that he can't intimidate you. Don't let him intimidate you.
I understand you're new and don't want to shake things up but you have to show that he can't break you. Otherwise he's going to continue to do that.
[User Picture]From: bad_lcuk
2012-11-11 04:39 am (UTC)

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Who cares if youre new. They hired (and trust) you for a reason. Use your authority to make the best of your situation. Your company doesnt want a shitty worker wandering in and using you because you feel 'youre new'. You go for it!
[User Picture]From: judaskiss
2012-11-11 01:50 am (UTC)

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Send him a screamer video, record his reaction and put it on youtube.
[User Picture]From: noodledays
2012-11-11 07:15 pm (UTC)

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are you around? I want to ask a question when you'll be here to participate.
[User Picture]From: judaskiss
2012-11-12 03:03 am (UTC)

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No, I wasn't around. :(

Maybe tomorrow (if you haven't posted the question already)?
[User Picture]From: noodledays
2012-11-12 02:41 pm (UTC)

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yeah, I can do it later today. :)
[User Picture]From: judaskiss
2012-11-12 08:27 pm (UTC)

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I'm online now and will be around for the next couple of hours, so yes, ready whenever you are.
[User Picture]From: noodledays
2012-11-12 08:33 pm (UTC)

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it's the one I posted a bit ago, getting a dismal response rate. ;\
[User Picture]From: pirahan
2012-11-11 01:51 am (UTC)

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If you are senior to him in position, I would tell him he needs to cut it out and that you do not take orders from him. If someone lower ranking than me started telling me what to do (and did so disrespectfully) I would not hesitate to let them know they are wrong. You might need to let your supervisor know about his behavior as well.

The worst person I've had to work with is unfortunately someone who really likes me, but I don't like her. She means well, but she is a very poor leader and turns into the Hulk when she doesn't understand something. It was terrible.
[User Picture]From: piperki
2012-11-11 02:00 am (UTC)

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In your position, I'd make a pest of myself and ask for his help and advice with EVERYTHING. He ought to get tired of it soon enough.
[User Picture]From: kaelstra
2012-11-11 02:25 am (UTC)

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This. I'd go overboard and be super nice. In the long run, I feel like this is going to cause the least amount of hassle for you personally. Like say, if you were catty and complained about him a lot, or if you patronized him or told him off or something, he'd probably get a THOUSAND times worse.

But if you're super nice, he may get annoyed and want nothing to do with you, so that's a win-win for you. You dealt with the problem AND he can't really complain about you.
[User Picture]From: nynaeve_sedai
2012-11-11 02:03 am (UTC)

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I'd probably start by subtly putting him in his place (correcting his mistakes, telling him to go if I'm working on something, pointing out my experience vs. his).

The worst was probably a guy in my office when I worked full time. He was a toxic personality - no one wanted to work with him except this one girl who could famously get along with anyone. He would try to start rumors, be openly defiant to our supervisors, bad-mouthing specialists to our clients... I forget now exactly what happened, but finally after hearing him bitch yet again, I lost it and I told him off to his face that he was an asshole needed to shut up. He'd already been creepy before - when I was gone on a week vacation, I came back and he stopped by my desk with a, "Did you miss me?" I replied that I hadn't, to which he replied, "I missed you." Reported that to my sup. Then he IM'd me (we had inter-office IM) and at some point in the message compared me to his ex-wife (someone else he complained about regularly). I reported that as well. I probably wouldn't have reported him so often except that he wouldn't leave me alone, not until I told him off. He was eventually fired and good riddance. No one liked him except that one girl, which didn't speak much to his character because she had the personality of a saint. She probably could have tolerated the devil himself without batting an eye or getting perturbed.

[User Picture]From: 7thedition
2012-11-11 02:32 am (UTC)

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I would go to the supervisor and ask them if the kid is always like that + advice on how to deal. From my past experiences, supervisors are usually aware of shitty attitudes and have their own way of dealing with it. At least by discussing with your supervisor first, you won't be in so much trouble if the brat decides to make up stories about you when you put him in place.

Worst person I've worked with: This HR guy in my last company. I worked in another department but we have to work together a lot. The HR department consist of very efficient 20 somethings(my age group) and this guy is in his 30s. He would treat his colleagues like kids and call them "Adik" which means little brother/sister here. He's horrible with projects, would manipulate you to do his job and talk big all the tiime. I came in as fresh grad and he shoved a lot of things to me. Finally, I snapped and told him to bugger off. Then, I'm noticing that his colleagues are doing the same to him. I heard he is still there.
[User Picture]From: plugmebaby
2012-11-11 02:48 am (UTC)

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when hes ordering you around say to him "can you please focus on your job? i have different responsibilities than you, and if i needed help, youre not the person i would go to for help, sorry."
[User Picture]From: rubytuesday6
2012-11-11 11:04 am (UTC)

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Yes!
[User Picture]From: lost_the_key
2012-11-11 03:31 am (UTC)

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Someone I worked with was racist against jews, particularly Jewish American Princesses.
I thought about her good qualities and figured this party was actually being rude to her and she was just a little upset/ignorant. I also embarrassed her online by talking about it 6 years later in a place where neither of us is recognizable.

At a moment he is patronizing you tell him that he is being patronizing to you and you would kindly like him to stop. Ask him to stop being rude at a moment where he is being rude. If you are worried about losing your job, talk to your boss first and I'm sure he will agree. I've been a spoiled kid before and would have appreciated knowing when I'm being mean or patronizing. I'd probably be mad at the time, but appreciate it later.
[User Picture]From: cianne
2012-11-11 04:16 am (UTC)

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well, i'd put him in his place, myself, in whatever words and manner suit the situation. the longer he gets to act like a jackass, the harder it will be to snap him out of it.

a woman i'm working with right now is a contender for worst coworker. she's good to talk to when we're not busy, but she has a bit of a god complex, like the place will fall apart without her.
[User Picture]From: bad_lcuk
2012-11-11 04:38 am (UTC)

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I would deal with him by being an adult and a manager, not letting him treat me like shit, and giving him an official written up warning. I dont care of his age, if hes below me and im managing him and hes treating me like shit, hes going to get written up for his shit.
[User Picture]From: isis_newton
2012-11-11 11:19 am (UTC)

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Just be professional at all times and focus on doing your job properly to the best of your ability. If he is actually interfering with your ability to be professional then report it to your line manager.
[User Picture]From: xenosphobatic
2012-11-11 02:08 pm (UTC)

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I'd either ignore him or put him in his place. Seems to have worked for me so far.

Personally, I try my best to get along with everyone I work with, even if it's only just ignoring everything they say because only drivel can leave their mouths.
That said, I cannot tolerate people who will not pull their weight, especially when it causes me to pick up the slack. When a situation like that occurs, I pass on the lack of pull to my manager/supervisor/ranked person and let them take care of it. Usually the useless weight proves him or herself soon enough.
[User Picture]From: zombiefruit
2012-11-11 06:51 pm (UTC)

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I would just ignore him. I wouldn't go out of my way to show him that's what I was doing, just not react to him at all. When he inevitably goes, "WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME," or, "CAN YOU HEAR ME OMG WHAT IS THIS," I would look up calmly, smile, and say, "I'm sorry, I was ignoring you because I figured you were smarter than to tell me what to do. Guess I was wrong!" and then immediately go back to whatever I was doing.
[User Picture]From: zombiefruit
2012-11-11 06:54 pm (UTC)

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I would almost certainly just ignore him or smile and nod, then ignore him, tbh. I am a troll (and in my life outside of work I would probably do as above) but at work I find the best way to continue appearing professional and also deal with a tit like that is by smiling and nodding, then doing what I know to be correct.

Nobody is judging you based on his decisions. He's an inconsequential little twat, which is probably why he's doing this in the first place.